No One Knows
by MuteMath788
Summary: All the action, the romance, the sex, the lies, the sweat, the forgiveness, the drama, and the happiness between Remus and Tonks that you didn't read about in HBP and DH. Rated mainly for blunt sexual themes and some language. Chapter fifteen now up!
1. The Funeral

**Hey, there. I'm kind of new here; I had an account but deleted that e-mail, so, yeah. Let me say that this is my first actual Remus/Tonks fanfic (I've written things down before, but not an actual story), so I'm pretty excited about it. I just wrote this at one in the morning, so bear with me if it seems somewhat sloppy, or not well-written.**

**WARNING; MAJOR DEATHLY HALLOWS SPOILERS...**

**Full summary: Starting off with the end of Half-Blood Prince and the gap in between, I'm writing about all the Remus/Tonks you didn't read about, such as their wedding, the birth of their child, etcetera. Hopefully you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter sniff**

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Albus Dumbledore was dead.

That was the only thing Remus could think about as he silently prepared for Dumbledore's funeral, to be held that morning, in the room he was sleeping in at the Weasleys' home, the Burrow. He wore a solemn expression on his face while pulling on black dress robes for the occasion (these were even a little shabby, as were the rest of this robes), thinking about the man who was once, a long time ago, his headmaster while he was at Hogwarts, and the man he worked under only three years previous.

Remus didn't know exactly why, but he was spraying the cologne left in Percy Weasley's old bedroom on himself, somewhat absentmindedly, yet still aware of what he was doing. But once he picked up the strong smell, he wrinkled his nose, disgusted by the odor. He let his mind wander, to ponder how Percy had ever gotten himself a girlfriend with such horrible-smelling cologne…

"Remus, let's go," said a sudden voice, and he looked up to see Tonks standing in the threshold of the door, leaning casually against the doorframe. She was, of course, wearing black as well, colliding magnificently with her bubble-gum pink hair, and had the same look of sadness and remorse on her face as Remus.

Remus flattened his prematurely graying hair a little as he looked at his reflection in Percy's overly large floor mirror. "How do I look?" he asked Tonks quiet, wanting her to speak. Tonks walked over to him and leaned her head on his shoulder while rubbing his back in a caring fashion.

"I think you look wonderful," she said softly after a moment, trying to force the corners of her mouth into even the slightest smile. But she found herself unable to do so, too upset about Dumbledore's death. "Come on, we'd better go. Everyone's going to be waiting on us."

In silence, the two of them walked out of the Burrow and into Mrs. Weasley's garden, where the others - some of them Weasleys, others, members of the Order - were waiting patiently for them. Remus barely took note of the fact that Tonks had taken a small hold on his hand.

"Right then," said Arthur quietly, noting that everybody was there, "we'll be Apparating to where the Hogsmeade-Hogwarts path begins, and once we're all there we will be heading up to the castle. Right…let's get going…"

One by one they disappeared on the spot, except for Remus and Tonks, who went together. As they all reappeared at the Hogsmeade entrance, the started up the path to the enchanted school, the one that they'd all once attended. A melancholy, slightly uncomfortable atmosphere surrounded them as they walked in eerie silence.

As they were led to where the funeral was taking place on the grounds, Remus found that most of the Hogwarts students had already arrived, some with their parents; members of the Order of the Phoenix that he recognized upon short glances; Dumbledore's remaining family, and various others.

He felt a sudden wave of sadness wash over him as his eyes found the white tomb Dumbledore was to be laid to rest in. He felt his eyes get wide, as if he couldn't believe the scene, and grasped Tonks's hand tightly. She glanced up at him for a moment before they slowly approached the tomb to pay their final respects to Dumbledore.

Something happened as they silently stood in front of the tomb, their fingers enlaced, and as Remus was averting his eyes from the tomb to the ground, he felt Tonks shake and she took her hand away from his while she emitted a sob. Alarmed, he looked at her to find that tears were falling rapidly out of her eyes, the eyes he loved so much to stare into.

"Tonks," he whispered, but he knew words would do no good now. Instead, he followed his human instinct and pulled her into the tightest embrace he'd ever done. Feeling her chin rest upon one of his broad shoulders was almost a reassuring feeling, he realized, and he rubbed her back as she'd rubbed his.

"He's in a better place now, Dora," he said calmly. "Don't…don't cry; everything will be all right…" But he couldn't say the words and mean them properly, for he found his own eyes unexpectedly welling up with tears as well, and he squeezed them shut in almost shame.

_No, _he thought firmly, _stay strong…Stay strong for Dora…_

But as they pulled away, Remus opened his eyes and found that his teary eyes restricted his clear vision of Tonks's face. Tonks noticed this and gently rubbed one of his arms while saying tenderly, "Remus, it's okay to be sad…Don't be afraid to cry…" Her voice cracked and again she was in his warm embrace. Remus turned his head to the side.

A single teardrop that had been forming in his eye finally leaked down the bridge of his nose and dripped off onto his lower lip, and as he licked his lips, he remembered how salty his tears were. But as he hugged Tonks, he felt more and more tears streaming down his face…

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**A/N: Quite short chapter, but think of it as sort of an introduction to everything else. Please let me know what you think - some suggestions about how to explain Lupin's feelings during the wedding (remember, he was very doubtful about it and regretted it and everything though he still did it - he loves her that much! haha) would be great, as well as constructive criticism. I'm not a fan of flames, so keep it to yourself. More on the way, possibly another short, yet very romantic one...wink**


	2. The Memory

**Hey again guys! Just finished this one at 2:10 AM; why am I writing so late? This chapter is dedicated to my lovely 3 reviewers...enjoy.**

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"Tonks, are you all right, dear?" asked Mrs. Weasley suddenly, pausing to note the blank, stone expression upon Tonks's face, and her rapidly changing hair color as she jumped from thought to thought and back again. 

"Hm? Oh - yes," Tonks finally said as her hair stopped on an eye-catching neon green color. "Just thinking."

"About Remus again?" suggested Mrs. Weasley quietly as Remus was only in the next room with Mr. Weasley, turning her back to tend to the dinner-in-progress on the stove. **(A/N: I can't remember if the people in the wizarding world have stoves or not, but I don't care.)**

Tonks shrugged. "Er…sort of," she answered. "I mean, Molly, we're, um, together, y'know…" She said it both modestly and as if Mrs. Weasley should have already known.

"Well, dear, I don't live in a cave," replied Mrs. Weasley. "Don't think I didn't see the two of you at Dumbledore's funeral."

"What? Oh - yeah-" Tonks hadn't been paying much attention; she'd been distracted by the revolving string of thoughts in her head, scraping against her brain. She propped her elbow up on the table and rested her chin in her hand, letting her mind free to bring back whatever memories it pleased to bring to her…

She was suddenly remembering being in the sitting room with Ginny, Hermione, and Ron, half-asleep one morning a couple days before the funeral. The three teenagers in the room were talking about Dumbledore, but Tonks paid no mind to their conversation. She was too tired - she'd been up all night, trying to resist tears, but found that it was near impossible. Her mouse-colored hair hung lazily in her face.

"Er, Tonks?"

A certain voice started Tonks as she looked up to see Remus standing in the doorway, looking extraordinarily tired as well, and almost sick. Tonks felt her pulse quicken; he hadn't wanted to even make eye contact with her since their confrontation in the hospital wing a few days previous, so what could he possibly want?

"Yes, Remus?" she managed, feeling as though her mouth was glued shut. Looking at him was even a bit hard, and she felt her eyes darting around on their own, trying to avoid the sight of the man who attracted her so much.

"Can I have a quick word with you?" Remus asked a little quietly, and Tonks noticed the strange, slightly nervous look about his pale features. "In private," he added.

"What about?" Tonks asked, not bothering to get off of the extremely comfortable couch in the sitting room until she found out what he was acting so strange for. Never had she seen such a look on his face. Then she began to worry: was something wrong?

"An important issue," said Remus impatiently, "come on, now…"

Tonks finally got up and followed him into Percy Weasley's old bedroom, the one she knew Remus was staying in, and she started to feel a bit jumpy when he closed the door behind them; what was he leading her to? There were far too many questions rolling through her mind, and she just decided to cooperate with him rather than be a pest about it. He sat down on the double-bed and invited her to sit next to him, and she did.

"What's wrong?" Tonks immediately asked upon the suspicion something had, indeed, gone horribly wrong, such as You-Know-Who taking over something or the other - she could barely follow the Order these days with so many things going on in her private life.

"Well," began Remus in an uneasy voice, "there's just something I want to talk to you about. That's all." He was silent for a moment, and at Tonks's blank expression he cleared his throat.

"Go on…"

"I don't know how I want to say this," said Remus. "I know that I want to, it's just that…the words are stuck on the tip of my tongue, jumbled-up and not knowing where to put themselves."

"Stop beating around the bush!" said Tonks impatiently. "Get to the point, Remus." She looked up at him now, directly into his eyes, and for the first time, she noticed how his chocolate-colored eyes held something different in them when they looked at each other, as if they were bursting with a secret to tell.

Remus broke eye contact with her after a moment. "I honestly don't know how to go about this," he said, sounding near embarrassed.

"You can tell me," said Tonks in a quite voice. "Just say it, don't be afraid to."

"I…" Remus was biting his lip. "Tonks, I wanted to tell you that I regret what I said the other night in the hospital wing."

Tonks nearly fell off the bed; her mouth had dropped slightly open and she stared at his averted face. Had he really just said what she'd thought he had? Was she just dreaming? Her heart beating too fast to breathe regularly, she said, "Remus…wh-what do you mean? What exactly do you regret?"

"What I said about how you don't deserve someone like me," he said quietly, still refusing to meet her eyes. She noticed the redness in his cheeks. "How you deserved someone younger and whole…"

Tonks was now fighting the urge to just kiss him all over, but remained still next to him. "But what makes you regret it?" she asked in a small, shy voice.

"I…was talking to Bill," said Remus. "I suppose that talking to him, who'd still been afflicted by a werewolf - even though, as I said, was different than my case - made me feel different. There was just…something there. He kept talking about how he was so excited to marry Fluer, and…I don't know…" He paused, biting his lip again. "And I realized how much I really am in love with you, Tonks." He said the last part very quietly, but this time he finally met her astonished gaze, and a very small smile played across his lips.

Tears were forming in Tonks's eyes, but for the first time in days, these were not tears of mourning or sadness. These tears were of the opposite element, of happiness and joy, but she tried not to let them fall anyway.

"Oh, _Remus,"_ she said in a mere shadow of a breath of a whisper. Overwhelmed, she felt a bitter substance in her mouth, not realizing a tear had snuck its way out of her eye. She licked her lips, not caring about the taste. "Remus, I love you, too…" It was all she could think of to say, and the last thing she saw before closing her eyes was Remus leaning towards her.

And their lips met. It was almost a bizarre moment; Tonks had never expected this and neither had Remus, of course, but it was still a kiss all the same. She was careful not to slip him her tongue, for she was unsure about how he'd take it. But she was even a little surprised when she felt his hand caressing her thigh…

When they broke apart, they simultaneously opened their eyes, and at Remus's awkward smile Tonks almost broke out laughing. Remus took hold of both her hands and he led her to stand with him, only to get back down on one knee before her.

Tonks went from sheer joy to pure shock as he pressed his lips lightly to the top of one of her hands, and he looked up with her, his chocolate eyes shining like never before. She stared down at him with a mixture of emotions in her own eyes, and then the words she'd never thought she would ever hear came out of his mouth.

"Nymphadora Tonks…Will you marry me?"

Tonks could hardly feel her own heart beating within her. She looked down at him for a few seconds more before she believed her vocal cords would work for her, and at this time she nearly shouted, "Yes!"

Remus stood up, her hands still in his, and he kissed her again, smiling broadly, and Tonks could tell how madly in love with her he was, and she returned his expression with glee…

Tonks had not yet told anybody else that Remus had proposed, and neither had her fiancée. She grinned, looking down at the finger where the ring would soon be, and made that hand a fist happily, trying to imagine what the wedding would be like.

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**Hee...questions, suggestions, comments, compliments, or just plain old reviews? You're welcome to tell me what you'd like. Even flames; in Napoleon voice heck yes!!**


	3. The Announcement

**Wow, guys, thanks tons for the reviews! It means a lot. I wanted to point out that I had a few grammatical errors in the last chapter, plus I didn't know that FF doesn't allow hypens, asterisks, and other symbols so my little footnotes may have looked weird. Also, I might add that the final paragraph of the last chapter was not in Tonks's memory, just to clear things up. **

**This chapter is dedicated again to all my dedicated reviewers who've stuck with me for three days, haha. I've finally done this one while the sun is up (finished at 6:30 in the evening), so this one isn't an insomniac chapter. I will admit I don't like it very much, because it's slightly "messy", if you will. **

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It was sweltering hot outside. He was sitting with her, holding her hand loosely in his, by Molly's large garden. The flowers were swaying in the light, rare July breeze, creating a quite peaceful atmosphere as opposed to the war against Voldemort currently happening. He didn't let it come to his mind at all as he sat quietly with her as she talked away, hardly paying mind to her words, but his own thoughts. 

"…and we'll have to make it quiet, Remus, just in case," she was saying from below his head's level to his left. "We'll have to be careful. We should ask Molly and Arthur if we can have it here in the garden like Bill and Fluer, surely they'll let us - Remus? Are you even listening?"

He blinked twice. "What?" he said blankly.

But before he could say anything else, she started right back up.

"You're not!" she said, a twinge of anger in her voice. "Oh, what am I ever going to do with you…"

"I am so listening," he cut in. "I'm just kind of thinking."

She let go of his hand and instead wrapped her small arms around his big left one, squeezing him. "Thinking of the day?" she asked in a small voice.

He looked at her and smiled warmly at her pretty face. "Yes," he answered in the same volume as she'd asked.

"I can't wait."

"Neither can I." He paused. "Saturday."

"Right," she said in a confirming tone. "Saturday. Right here."

"Great," he said with the same content smile.

"When should we tell everybody?" she asked, glancing at her hand once again. The ring was still not yet there, but she knew it would be soon.

"Tonight, at dinner, I've decided," he said. "It's Sunday; six days in advance is quite short notice, but again, it is to be quietly prepared…"

She said nothing but hugged his arm a little tighter and then leaned up to kiss his cheek, expanding the smile on his cheeks. He looked into her vivid eyes and he felt her looking into his, and within a few mere seconds they were kissing passionately. He was hardly surprised when he felt a second tongue in his mouth for a second before it wasn't there anymore, and he grinned into their kiss at her teasing nature. He did the same thing back to her, but unfortunately, it ended right there.

"I love you, Remus," she said.

"I love you, too, Nymphadora," he said, kissing her forehead.

"Don't call me that."

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The Burrow had been named the new Order headquarters. Number 12, Grimmauld Place was terribly unsafe to go to because Snape, who the Order members had found out was a Death Eater, knew how to get in. The many members of the Order met after dinner every evening; some of those members had actually turned up early to eat one of Molly's home-cooked meals.

These frequent meetings made it a little tough for Remus to focus his mind on his wife-to-be and the war but he managed. On the first of July, which was a Sunday evening, the Order members were to abnormally meet before dinner, because Molly had felt the urge to feed them all.

In the kitchen for the meeting stood Arthur, Molly, Fred and George, Ron and Hermione, Bill and Fluer, Kingsley, Mad-Eye, Mundungus Fletcher, Hagrid, and finally, the last two to arrive, Remus and Tonks. The small kitchen was packed and Remus found it a bit hard to breathe as they all stood in a large circle to "quickly meet", as Arthur had described it.

"About time you two decided to show up," growled Arthur in a slightly irritated tone when he showed up with her by his side.

"Where've you been?" said Fred with a grin on his face. "Been snogging all this time?"

"Shut it, you!" yelled Arthur, throwing an apologetic look at Remus. "Sorry - anyway, let's get on with it. Now, as we've previously discussed, we are going to remove Harry from his place of safety on the thirtieth this month, correct?"

There were simultaneous nods about the circle. Remus's eyes located Ginny standing a few feet away from them, trying to hear about what they were planning.

"Right then," continued Arthur, "a change has been made. We shall collect him on the fortnight of his birthday. A false plan will confuse the Death Eaters when we transport him here to the Burrow."

"Death Eaters will be out and about anyway," Hermione pointed out.

"That's where the plan comes into play," said Mad-Eye. "We're having six volunteers out of all of you drink Polyjuice Potion with a bit of the boy's hair. Those volunteers will, disguised as Harry, be flying with the others in this circle to trick You-Know-Who and the Death Eaters as to who the _real _Harry is."

"Harry won't like that!" Hermione retaliated. "He won't want six of us risking our lives for him-"

"It's what's best!" Mad-Eye growled back. "Harry will do it whether he likes it or not," he continued firmly. He dug a short list out of his pocket and began reading off names. "Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Mundungus and Fluer - you six will be our lucky volunteers."

"No!" Fluer objected immediately. "Oh, why me?"

"The names I've chosen are the youngest members of the Order and will be flying with highly trained Aurors or other very skilled wizards," said Mad-Eye, and Remus could feel Tonks's beaming from beside him.

Fluer looked as though she wanted to rip Mad-Eye's arms off, but Bill silenced her by placing a big hand on her shoulder to reassure and comfort her. "You'll be with me," Remus heard him whisper in her ear, and Fluer smiled.

"Those taking the seven Harry Potters off will be," said Mad-Eye, reading off his list again, "…Bill, Arthur, myself, Tonks, Remus, Kingsley, and Hagrid." He looked up and scanned the faces with commanding eyes. "Understood?"

There was more nodding.

"I'm telling you," insisted Hermione again, "Harry won't like this…"

Just as Mad-Eye was about to fire off a retort, Molly jumped in and said loudly, "Dinner's ready. We'll discuss this again on the night we collect Harry."

All of them walked over to the dinner table, which had had a spell put on it to make it noticeably longer for the larger crowd. Remus pulled out a chair for Tonks in a gentlemanly fashion before taking the seat next to her, giving her an excited, yet reserved smile in the process.

Molly was placing bowls and plates of enormous amounts of food with Ginny's help, and everyone at the table began serving themselves. Remus could hardly put a large amount on his plate, for he felt he couldn't eat with excitement in the way of his appetite.

For a few minutes, everything was quiet until Kingsley struck up conversation. "Word is that there was another death today," he said a bit quietly after a sip of pumpkin juice, "but I dunno, people love to spread rumors even if they're about death-"

"Did you catch a name?" asked Arthur tentatively.

Kingsley shook his head. "No. I'm sure it was a Muggle, anyhow. If it was a wizard we would have known immediately."

"Good point," agreed Remus, then taking several gulps from his goblet. It was becoming harder and harder for him to hide his own excitement - his definition of excitement meaning a soft, yet permanent smile on his face, contrasting the usually poor features - as he watched everyone clear their plates quickly. He prayed for light appetites; the sooner dinner was over, the better.

A few minutes later, he felt Tonks place her hand on his knee, and when he looked up, Remus noticed that most were done and having on-the-side conversations while Molly and Ginny re-collected the plates. Most had risen from the table. Remus cleared his throat loudly, capturing the attention of everyone there, and he tried hard not to let his uncontrollable beaming give it away.

"Everyone," he said a little loudly, "Tonks and I have an announcement to make." He paused. "We are going to be married."

Several things happened at once: Mad-Eye choked on the pumpkin juice he was drinking; Kingsley sported an enormous grin on his face while still maintaining a look of surprise; Hermione and Ginny squealed loudly; Mad-Eye continued to cough horribly; Bill flashed him the thumbs-up; Molly was matching Hermione and Ginny's squeals; and lastly, Remus found himself locked in a brotherly embrace with Arthur, who was clapping his hand on Remus's back.

"Congratulations!" Arthur said, trying not to yell, and grinning as he pulled away from him. "This is wonderful!"

"When'd you pop the question, Remus?" Bill said loudly over the commotion.

"Just a couple of days ago," Remus answered in a modest tone, his smile wider than ever, making him look like a young child in Honeydukes for the first time.

"Oh, goodness!" Molly was saying; she was nearly crying as she hugged Tonks. "When will the wedding be?"

"Saturday," answered Remus and Tonks in unison, and there was an even bigger commotion, this one a tad less excited.

"Saturday!" yelled Fluer in disgust. "Zat eez too long!"

"But it makes sense," said Kingsley, who was trying to calm everyone down. "They want to get married quickly rather than planning everything out, taking too long to do things. Just in case these are their last few months." He added the last part on hastily.

"You knew exactly what we were thinking," said Remus.

"Well, I s'pose that _does _make sense," said Ron, who'd been sitting across from Tonks with an awestruck look written all over his freckled features.

"It does," agreed Arthur.

"Molly," said Tonks, "is it okay if we, er, borrow the garden for the ceremony? It won't take that long, Remus and I have decided not to have a huge, fancy wedding, I assure you that-"

"Feel free, feel free, dear!" interrupted Molly merrily. "Oh, this is so wonderful…"

Remus was almost laughing at the sight of Mad-Eye trying to catch is breath, still emitting a few coughs.

A few minutes after dinner, Remus was taken aside by Arthur, who'd said he wanted a word with him. Arthur seemed as though he couldn't control his own happiness; Remus had known that both he and Molly greatly supported their relationship, whereas he knew Tonks's parents rebuked it slightly.

"So," said Arthur as they sat in the empty sitting room, "tell me about it, Remus. What caused your change of mind?"

"Your son," answered Remus. "I was speaking with him in the hospital wing a little while after you and everybody else left and he just put some sense in my head. By the words he said and the condition he was in. He couldn't stop talking about how much he loved Fluer and how he was so excited to marry her, and something just clicked. It was as if he told me without speaking to go back to her."

"Ah, my son," said Arthur, grinning proudly. "Bill's always had that sort of inspiration on people."

"He's great," said Remus absentmindedly. "Look, Arthur, are you and Molly sure it's no trouble to have our wedding in the garden?"

"It's fine," Arthur assured. "Who are you planning on inviting?"

"Not many. Tonks will invite her parents, we felt like some of the Order should come along, and I wanted to invite all you Weasleys." He said it with a smile.

"Very quiet," Arthur observed. "What about a reception? Molly and I will plan something nice, a surprise for the two of you-"

"No," interrupted Remus. "I don't want you to carry Nymphadora and me and your shoulders like that, Arthur. A dinner will be just fine, thanks." He paused. "Besides, I've got our _own _reception planned…" He concealed a smile; it was out of his nature to say something like that, but this was Arthur the man he trusted as an older brother to him.

But Arthur did smile and he playfully punched Remus's arm. "I get it," he said. "'Atta boy, Remus…"

"Pudding?" came a sudden voice, and they looked up to see Mrs. Weasley in the doorway. Remus could see everyone else behind her at the table, eating chocolate pudding in celebration.

"Molly!" yelled a flabbergasted Arthur. "How long have you been standing there?" Remus could tell that Arthur was afraid his wife had overheard their somewhat explicit conversation.

"Only just a couple seconds," answered Molly blankly. "Why?"

"Nothing," answered Remus for Arthur. He stood and went with Arthur back to the table to eat a small helping of pudding, unable to help his grinning the entire time.

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**And there you are! Tell me what you think (myself - I was a bit iffy about Arthur and Remus's talk; you might know what I'm speaking of). The fanfic will start to get a bit actiony soon - I have put a LOT of thought into these upcoming chapters - and a little confusing, because I have to skip the Remus/Tonks you read in the book to avoid plaigerising and such. I haven't even gotten to "the Deathly Hallows chapters" yet (remember it was stated they got married in the first chapter). Okay, enough ranting - reviews, compliments, suggestions, questions, etc., are all accepted as usual...**


	4. The Wedding

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Behind them were the wedding guests: All the Weasleys minus Charlie and Percy, who looked like a garden of tomatoes as they all sat together; Kingsley, whose shiny bald head reflected the sunlight off it; Mad-Eye, who came to the ceremony dressed as though he were about to impersonate someone of the poor (as usual); Mr. and Mrs. Tonks, who were less enthusiastic about the wedding but still happy for their daughter; and a few other members of the Order. Remus had wished that James, Lily, and Sirius had still been alive to see him get married, and he also wished Harry would have been able to make it, but it was too soon to move him from the Muggles.

"Dearly beloved," began the elderly wizard suddenly, making Remus jump, "we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman together in holy matrimony."

It had been decided that the wedding was going to be a brief, contemporary ceremony, so as soon as Remus and Tonks slipped their wedding rings on the other's finger, the wizard cut to the chase.

Turning to Remus, he said, "Remus John Lupin, do you take this woman, whose right hand you now hold, to be your wedded wife, and do you promise before God and these witnesses that you will be to her a true and devoted husband, true to her in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, in prosperity and in adversity, and that forsaking all others you will keep yourself to her, and her only. Until God shall separate you by death?"

"I do," said Remus quietly, holding a relaxed smile upon his features.

Now in Tonks's direction, the wizard said, "Nymphadora Tonks, do you take this man, whose right hand you now hold, to be your wedded husband, and do you promise before God and these witnesses that you will be to him a true and devoted wife, true to him in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, in prosperity and in adversity, and that forsaking all others you will keep yourself to him, and him only. Until God shall separate you by death?"

"Yes. I do," said Tonks a bit quickly, and Remus was so happy he almost wanted to laugh out loud.

"Very well, then," said the wizard, "I now pronounce you husband and wife!" Turning to Remus again, he added those five words that almost caused him to faint upon hearing them: "You may kiss the bride!"

And then it happened: He picked Tonks up, sweeping her off her feet, and kissed her fully on the lips, putting so much feeling and romance into the kiss that Tonks laughed happily when he pulled away from her. He suddenly wished it was just the two of them there together and nobody else; stuck in the most passionate kiss he'd shared yet with her was where he wanted to be.

They walked proudly back down the aisle, arm-in-arm, and the guests followed them, row by row, back to the Burrow. Remus hadn't expected the reception to be much, because he hadn't asked for anything at all except for a dinner, but he was wrong as he opened the door for Tonks, and he followed her in.

A large banner that read CONGRATULATIONS was the first thing he saw and he immediately groaned when he felt something pouring over his head - confetti. He was feeling the opposite of Tonks, who was excitedly saying, "Isn't this wonderful?"

"Do you like it, Remus?" asked Molly from behind him somewhere, and he turned around to find her wearing a gigantic smile.

"Molly, I love it, but it's far too much, I didn't want you to go to this much trouble-"

"Nonsense!" Molly interrupted. "I had to make the reception at least a little special!"

"It's great, Mrs. Weasley," said Tonks, and Molly hugged her tightly.

"Oh, dear, I'm so happy for you two. I always told you he'd come around!" she told her, wagging a finger at Remus, who rolled his eyes but grinned anyway. He felt like a little kid again.

"Remus, m'boy!" came Arthur's voice, again from behind him, and he wheeled around to be pulled into a warm embrace. "Congratulations!"

"Thanks, Arthur," said Remus, wanting to go back to Tonks, but she'd been swallowed by Molly, Ginny, Fluer, and all the other women who'd attended the wedding. He, meanwhile, was surrounded by the men, receiving salutations of 'congrats!' left, right, and center.

"Congratulations, son," said Ted Tonks, pushing his way in front of Remus to grasp his hand. "You've proven that you and Dora are very in love and you seem to be a good husband to her."

"I love her so much, sir," was all Remus could think of to say, and it came out in a sort of desperate air to prove himself worthy to him, but he guessed that he had already. He wanted to say so much more, but Ted had left to go see his daughter, and the next person to swallow him in a hug was Kingsley.

After awhile, the wedding cake that neither Remus nor Tonks had asked for was cut and served piece by piece to everyone. Arthur proposed a toast right before it was cut, and as everyone raised their full glasses of firewhisky in the air, he said in a loud voice, "A toast to Remus and Nymphadora Lupin, to their boundless life together, to the good times they'll share together, and to their love for each other." He raised his glass a little higher, and everyone drank.

Remus, with his arm collectively around Tonks's shoulders, was one of the last to drink, but he'd downed his glass in one as usual. He was grinning, and after the toast, when everyone went to their cake, Tonks looked up at him and asked, "What's the huge smile for?" She too was grinning.

"Tonks," he said in a gentle voice, leading her to sit down in one of the corners of the room with his hand in hers. As they sat down on a small loveseat, he rubbed his thumb on the top of her hand and continued, "Listen, what say you and I-"

"Tonks! Oh, there you are, dear!"

Mrs. Tonks's loud voice was easily able to cut through others', and Remus looked up, irritated, to see her running towards them carrying something that looked like a knit scarf. She said to her daughter, "Dear, I decided to bring this to you for your wedding - remember?" She handed the piece of knit cloth to Tonks. "It's your old blanket!"

Clearly embarrassed by her mother interrupting her with her newlywed husband, Tonks uttered an irascible "thanks" and shooed her off. Once she was out of site, Tonks pulled out her wand and tapped the blanket twice; it disappeared in thin air before their eyes.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "I don't know what she was thinking, bringing me something I might have drooled on when I was three or something…"

Remus laughed slightly. "It's nothing," he lied; he was still ill-tempered about how he was interrupted so rudely by his new mother-in-law, whom he was much less enthusiastic to have. He cleared his throat and took her hand again in his and said, "Now - Dora - I was wondering if you wanted to -"

"Remus!"

Remus sighed angrily and looked up to see Mad-Eye walking towards them with a bottle of champagne. "Care for any?" he asked in his worn voice.

"No, thanks," said Remus, trying hard not to sound mad, but it was getting close to impossible.

He decided to lead Tonks into the separate hallway leading away from the main room, where he was finally alone with her, allowed to speak with her in private. He cleared his throat again and finally asked the question that had been burning inside him all night. "Dora," he began, "since we won't be able to have a full honeymoon with the worry of being attacked, er…I was wondering if, er, you'd like to…" He trailed off, feeing embarrassed, but was surprised with she picked up for him.

"- have sex?" she said as if discussing the weather with him.

He stared at her. "How'd you know I was going to ask that?"

She laughed. "Remus, it's easy to tell when a man wants to," she said.

"Such as…?"

"Why should I tell you?" she said with another laugh. "You'd try to stay away from it all and we'd never get to-"

"Alright, I get it, just don't actually _say _it; what if one of the twins are eavesdropping around the corner, waiting to tell everyone we're about to do it?"

She sighed. "My room or yours?"

Again he stared at her. "Er…mine. Percy's, I mean. The bed's nice and big…"

"Oh." She squeezed his hand tightly, and he couldn't help but flash a smile.

"Okay, then, let's go," he said, leading her up several flights of stairs to the room he was staying in for the weeks he was living at the Burrow, and quietly closed the door behind him…

* * *

It was late morning. The eleven o'clock rays of sunshine shone on Remus's face through the parted curtains, waking him up naturally. As he opened his eyes, he felt like everything was normal at first, but as he noticed his arm was around Tonks's naked bosom, he began to panic.

Gently he took his arm way from her, being careful not to wake her up, and he sat up in bed, finding that he too was not wearing any clothes; the only thing on him was the blankets he and Tonks were sharing. Digging into his tired mind, he tried to remember what he'd done last night - and then it hit him.

Groaning upon the realization that he, Remus Lupin, a werewolf, had made love to a normal human being, he began to worry: what if he'd impregnated her? What if he'd even caused her to become part werewolf? Slipping on his boxers and a white t-shirt as he got out of bed, he began to pace the room.

He felt as if he'd forgotten he was a werewolf. He was a monster, meant to bite and infect innocent humans on the full moon of every month. He was a werewolf that had married a regular, everyday witch, and his feelings of regret immediately poured into his mind.

_How could I have let myself be so damn stupid? _he thought angrily. _If I'd gotten her pregnant…Werewolves don't breed…Oh, what have I done?_

He leaned against the dresser and held his face in his hands, mentally cursing and slapping himself. He'd made a horrible mistake, one that he knew he would regret for the rest of his life. He'd taken precautions against himself about this for so long and eventually he let it get to him through his naivety and his uncontrollable love for her.

He let out a sigh. The whole thing was a horrible mistake. He should have just called off the wedding at the alter. He shouldn't have even proposed in the first place…

Tonks stirred under the sheets and woke up, sitting up in bed, unashamed of her own nakedness as he was his. He felt embarrassed to look at her like this, to have to call her a wife with such a grave mistake in his mind.

"Good morning," she greeted. "You were…wonderful last night."

Remus was unable to accept the compliment. He was looking down, and with a fake smile, he mumbled, "So were you."

He could hear her getting dressed, and he decided to do so as well. He felt so ashamed to watch her get dressed the way she did, unafraid to expose to him her most private body parts.

"So, when did you wake up?" Tonks asked as she slipped a shirt on.

"Just now," he said quietly, watching her now. He could hardly stand to look, and he turned his head away in shame. The realization that he'd made a grave mistake, one that would stick with him the rest of his life, continuously crashed down on him.

* * *

**Let me know. I'm sure I had mistakes in this one. (It's 2:06 am on August 1st - Happy August, everybody.)**


	5. The Curse

On the day they'd planned to move Harry to the Burrow, Remus got out of bed particularly early, much earlier than usual, and he dressed in one of his only sets of wizard's robes, a quite shabby one at that. Being careful not to disturb his wife's peaceful sleep, he slipped out of Percy's bedroom, which they'd been and would be staying in for awhile now (he was growing rather sick of it), and he went quietly down the stairs into the empty, dark kitchen. 

Taking advantage of the fact that Molly had not yet gotten up by some miracle, he conjured up a cup of hot, steaming coffee for himself and sat at the table to drink it, glad he was alone in the house for the first time in weeks. He savored the taste of the coffee, which was sweet. He looked around the dark room - it was only about five-thirty in the morning and still quite dark outside, and there were no lights on in the kitchen. It was a calm, cool atmosphere, just the way he liked it.

The coffee was good until the taste turned bitter in his mouth when he let his thoughts circle back to Tonks for the hundredth time since last night when he couldn't sleep, and the picture of her sleeping face entered his mind. He couldn't stand to drink the coffee now as he was revisited by his regretful feelings. Lately, a lot of strange emotions had been tapping him on the shoulder to visit.

First and foremost, he was so angry at himself for pushing aside his persistent doubts and marrying Tonks; those doubts had come back into play to torture him in his dreams. He'd asked himself over and over again since the day after their wedding: How could he have been so stupid to marry her? Unable to locate the reason he'd originally proposed in his memory, his burning anger thrashed around inside of him, wanting to break out, but eventually it relinquished, and misery took over.

His uncontrollable misery, the emotion he'd shown most, reminded him of the everlasting regret inside of him. He was sorry for ever marrying Tonks, because as they were to remain faithful to each other as husband and wife, till death did they part, and he was at fault for anything he could possibly do as a werewolf to harm her. It was getting harder and harder for him to get Wolfsbane Potion each month - the only person he'd known to make it was Severes Snape, who was a traitor to the Order. Werewolves were not meant to marry and have children; Remus was constantly afraid of the possible mistake of conceiving a child in her.

He was even a little worried about the war against Voldemort. He was not one to fret about anything, but more so brave alongside Mad-Eye. But there was just so much that Voldemort could easily do, such as taking over the Ministry of Magic, which was his second biggest fear at the moment. He also slightly apprehensive about the coming evening, when they'd be carrying out their plan to move Harry, which, as he agreed with Hermione, Harry wouldn't like.

But the most confusing overall was those feelings of unconditional love he still had for Tonks, and knew he would forever have; they had been ingrained deep within his brain all along. Even though he was so regretful about their marriage, he still knew that deep down inside, he loved her, and that it would always be that way. He still wished he hadn't decided to propose, however, but it was a sealed deal now. There was no turning back.

"Who's there?" yelled Molly's shrill, sudden voice in the darkness, shaking Remus out of his deep time of thought and startling him so badly that he spilled his coffee on his knee. The feeling of the white-hot liquid emancipated an incredible pain.

_"Shit! _Fucking - Molly, it's all right, it's me, Remus -"

Molly turned on the kitchen lights to reveal Remus quickly performing a healing charm on his knee. When he finished this, he looked up at Molly to find her staring at him like an angry schoolteacher. He immediately felt embarrassed for his choice of language.

"You'd better watch your mouth; I don't like that kind of language in my house," she scolded, walking past him to the stove to start up breakfast.

"Er…sorry," said Remus. "I was just startled, that's all." He felt idiotic. Never would he have normally been so scared.

"I can see that, dear," said Molly. "Why up so early? Couldn't sleep?"

Remus made a very barely acknowledgeable grunt and said, "I don't know. Early rest, I s'pose…" He heard Molly say something else, but didn't pay any mind to it as he let his mind swivel back to his revolving string of thoughts, but right as he did this, he noticed Tonks walk into the kitchen.

"Waking up early only to find that I missed you getting dressed isn't much fun," she said quietly to him as she took the empty seat next to him, pausing only to kiss his cheek in morning greetings.

He tried to smile a little. "Didn't mean to make you angry," he said, aiming to sound playful, but she didn't hear him. Instead, she was talking to Molly about what would be on the breakfast table that morning.

At that moment an owl swooped up to the window nearest Remus with that morning's issue of the _Daily Prophet _in its beak. Remus gave it a couple of Knuts and took the paper from its beak, and shooed it off hastily.

"What's in the _Prophet _this morning?" asked Molly from the stove.

"Two Muggles from England killed last night at midnight…" said Remus, scanning the front page. "Nothing much, really. Rita Skeeter is writing a book on Dumbledore's life." He scoffed.

"Skeeter, that inaccurate bitch," growled Tonks, saying the last word in a whisper so as Molly wouldn't hear, but she did anyway.

"What was that?" she shrieked, wheeling around to face Tonks, who'd turned around as well.

"Nothing," answered Tonks innocently, but she couldn't stop her hair changing to a very strange orange color.

"I know you're lying," said Molly, "I can tell by your Metamorphosing. As I told Remus earlier, I will not tolerate that sort of language in this house."

"She's like our _mother _while we're here," Tonks complained in a low voice to Remus.

"I know," he agreed in the same low, quiet tone.

"I heard that!" Molly said loudly.

* * *

Hagrid's gigantic motorcycle's engine purred rather loudly next to Remus, Tonks, and the others as they all met up to have a quick meeting before leaving for Surrey to retrieve Harry. It was dark out; most stars had found their way to the inky black skies and winked down at Remus as he looked up at them, playing games with his mind as Mad-Eye spoke, reviewing the plan with all of them. 

"So we've got our volunteers, right?" said Mad-Eye, and those who were volunteering nodded. "Right then, let's get going."

Most of them mounted broomsticks, but a couple got on the two thestrals that were there, and Hagrid jumped excitedly into his enormous bike, which had once been Sirius's. Disillusionment Charms were placed over them to keep them disguised in the night. Tonks's hands on Remus's waist almost felt a bit strange because of the way she squeezed, but he faltered to notice it as Mad-Eye spoke again.

"Everybody stay on the lookout and keep closely packed," he shouted over the deathly hum of the motorcycle. "Be prepared for anything that happens. Let's go!"

"Don't miss your Portkey!" screamed Molly from behind them.

And they were off, speeding into the night air. The wind rippling Remus's prematurely graying hair was an indescribable event for him, personally, for he was happy beyond nature to get out of the Burrow for a couple hours. The journey to Little Whinging seemed too short-lived, he realized, as they landed gently on the sidewalk on Privet Drive. The Disillusionment Charms were wearing off as they made their way to number four.

* * *

"Hold tight, George!" Remus was saying as he again mounted his broomstick with one of Harry's six look-alikes. The feeling of the slightly big hands of Harry Potter on his waist was more bizarre than anything, but he shook off the feeling as they kicked off into the air, both their wands drawn. 

Biting down on his lip so hard he was afraid it'd start bleeding, Remus sped as fast as his broomstick would go into the night again and found that they were surrounded by Death Eaters, as he was sure was happening to everyone else.

"Don't hold back!" he managed to scream at the top of his lungs before casting as many jinxes and spells as he knew at the dark, cloaked figures as they raced along among the stars. Hearing George yell a flurry of curses right behind him gave Remus an assuring feeling as his nerves were taken over by excitement.

As they were rocketing along the London skyline, a Death Eater managed to catch up to them and get extraordinarily close, and as Remus glanced over, he saw that this Death Eater's hood was not on and tried not to let the element of surprise take over him as he saw Severes Snape, wearing a wicked look on his face.

It happened quickly: Remus tried to speed up but his broomstick was at its max - their destination was only a little farther away; he saw Snape lift his wand and in the midst of the wind creating a ruckus in his ears, the curses being yelled by George, who was oblivious to the fact that Snape was right alongside them, Snape bellowed, _"SECTUMSEMPRA!"_

At the very last second, Remus swerved to avoid being hit, and he'd thought that they'd managed to narrowly avoid the curse, but George's cry of pain told him otherwise. As they reached a hundred yards of the protective charm that'd been cast over the area, the Death Eaters were knocked back, and Remus flew as fast as he could to where he knew their Portkey was. He landed on the ground in a mess, trying hard to keep his balance as he ran off the broomstick, supporting George.

"Grab the Portkey," he uttered to himself, "where the bloody hell is it -"

He stopped as he noticed George's face was covered in blood, and he could see in the dim lighting of the field they were in that George's ear had been severed off by Snape's curse. With big eyes, he asked, "George, are you all right? George!"

He'd gone unconscious, and as Remus saw something blue glowing a couple feet away, he seized it - something that felt like a watch - and forced George's fingers to hold it as well, and he was jerked off into space, going back to the Burrow.

* * *

**There you have it. Let me know what you think of the little bit of action I put in there - I went through DH to see if I could find out what Remus and George's Portkey had been, and where they were supposed to get it, so I kind of had to wing it. **


	6. The Reality

**It's 3 AM and I'm damn near crying my eyes out. Why? Because of the realization I have to write about Remus and Tonks dying in the end. Of course, I knew this from the start, but it just now came crashing down on me. I love writing about the fluff between them before and during the wedding, and Remus's mixed feelings, and especially what's to come, however. Remus was my favorite character overall. Before, it was Ron, but honorably, I changed it. Sounds corny, but that's what I did.**

**Here's a tip for those aspiring writers who have been reading or reviewing this fanfic: Don't rush, plan things out, and try not to listen to music while writing. If you focus on the music too much, it can affect your mood **_**and **_**your writing. A deathly (hallows) combination.**

**I am brainstorming ideas for a couple more fanfics. Get ready.**

* * *

Remus was not feeling well.

All morning he'd felt a bit groggy. Stomachaches had been coming and going, bringing headaches along with them. Twice he felt as though he was about to vomit. His face was whiter and paler than ever, and he felt weak and tired, but could get no sleep. Molly had confined him to Percy's bedroom, so that he couldn't spread any possible sickness.

How he hated being ill. He'd insisted to Molly that he was perfectly fine and able to work with the rest of the Order members outside of the Burrow, but she, in her stubborn fashion, refused to listen to anything he'd said. He was helplessly lying in the bed he felt forced to share with Tonks, who was out and about with the rest of the Order, and was also earning Remus's jealousy.

It'd been two days since they'd retrieved Harry Potter. Remus hadn't seen much of Harry, partly because he was always with his friends, or the fact that Remus was usually busy with the Order. But today, he'd seen him pass by the open door as he lay in bed, aimlessly wondering when Tonks would return…

"Chicken soup, dear?"

Remus looked up to see Molly in the door carrying a small tray with a bowl sitting on it. The smell wafting from the contents of the bowl entered his nostrils and teased him, making his mouth water, and he nodded hungrily at Molly. She smiled and gave him the tray, and he began shoveling spoonfuls of the delicious soup into his mouth.

"Go easy on it, Remus," said Molly, reminding him of the conversation he'd had with Tonks the other morning about how she was like a mother to everyone in the Burrow. She went on, "I don't want you feeling sick after eating too fast."

"I'm not sick," Remus immediately answered in stubborn tones.

Molly chuckled. "Just stay in here, you know where the bathroom is…" Her voice trailed off as she walked back down the hallway, disappearing from view. Remus shivered slightly, feeling a bit feverish, but downed the soup anyway.

After a while he really _was _feeling sick, and regretted not taking Molly's advice about slowing down on his soup. He was lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling, feeling bored and angry for not going to the Ministry or wherever with the rest of the Order.

As another stomachache passed, he sat up slowly when he heard a slight commotion from downstairs, and then voices traveling up the stairs and through the hallways, closer and closer to his room, until he saw Molly helping Tonks into the bedroom. Tonks was looking worse than he; her hair was even a dank color and her face was drained of all color. She was holding her stomach with one hand.

"Tonks, what's wrong?" Remus asked in his quiet voice.

"She got sick while at the Ministry with Mad-Eye," answered Molly for his wife, and he nodded in response, moving over so that Tonks could share the bed with him. As Tonks sat on the edge of the bed slowly, Remus propped up Tonks's pillows, feeling as though it were the sort of thing he should have done for her, whom he knew was truly sick. He was positive he was perfectly fine, on the other hand; he just hadn't gotten enough sleep.

"I see," said Remus after a moment while Tonks lay down beside him, white as a ghost. After Molly left, he asked her, "Dora, are you all right?"

Tonks managed to shake her head. "No," she said in a weak voice. "I've been throwing up all morning, really, but I don't necessarily feel that sick. It's strange…What if some kind of weird curse was put on me by a Death Eater while I was oblivious to the things happening around me?"

Remus could tell she was delirious. "Just relax, and you'll be fine," he said softly, stifling a yawn. He was immensely tired. "I'm going to get a little sleep…Will you be okay?"

"I think I should be fine…"

He rolled over on his side and felt his eyes droop when he relaxed his muscles. He knew all along that all he'd really needed was a good amount of sleep, and he was finally about to get it. He closed his eyes and all he saw was black until he drifted off into the peaceful oblivion that was a four-hour nap…

* * *

"Remus."

"Wha - ?"

Remus rolled over on his side; his eyes barely open, but open enough to see Tonks looking wildly down at him. He didn't feel sick anymore. After rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he could see that the color had returned to her pretty face and she didn't seem to be ill anymore, but she did look strange.

"What, Dora?" he asked, sitting up next to her on the bed. She was on her knees.

"Remus," said Tonks, "I've got something to tell you."

He looked at her, a mixture of annoyance and wonder in his expression. "Go on…" he said with a yawn attached.

"I think I might be pregnant."

Remus coughed: He suddenly felt ill again. He ran a hand through his thick light brown hair; how in the world could they be having a baby? All his worst fears were coming true right before his very eyes and he felt a sigh escape his lips. His regretful feeling escalated to the power of ten. He'd done it now. A werewolf had impregnated a normal, average human being.

His thoughts led him to worries about the child. What would it look like? Would it be half-werewolf, like its father, and have the ability to change its appearance, like its mother? Would it remain hungry for blood throughout his lifetime and wonder why he differs so much from the other kids?

"A baby," he said tensely. He hoped it was just a dream. He hoped he was just sleeping, and he's wake up at any time now…

"Yes, a baby," said Tonks, sounding happy.

Unable to speak his true feelings to her, he said in whispers of mock excitement, "That's great!" But the reality for him was just the opposite. His kind didn't breed. He thought his regular lycanthropy was enough, but his child? He wasn't even prepared to be a father in the first place! How could a werewolf raise a son or daughter of his own?

He could hardly feel Tonks's arms around him as she said, "When should we tell the others, then? Anytime soon?"

"When and if we know for sure," said Remus quietly, feeling slightly dizzy. He leapt from the bed and managed to squeeze out, "I'll be right back," as he sped out the door, down the hallway, and into the bathroom, where he shut the door behind him. He leaned over the toilet and vomited out his horrible feelings of anger and regret…yet they still remained.

* * *

**I felt this was quite short, but when it comes to the grammar and structure of this chapter, it is my favorite, and I'm quite proud of myself. I don't think any of you would have guessed that I don't have these chapters written out already; I barely even plan. This chapter just came from the top of my head, and only took me 45 minutes to write.**

**Let me know. Also, for upcoming chapter purposes, yes or no to 'descriptive sex' (if you catch my drift)? I might have to change the rating to this fic soon if so. I'd like to know from my readers. Thanks a million for all the reviews, guys, it means a lot! Give me suggestions, I need them. **


	7. The Letter

**If you want my honest opinion, I am not necessarily fond of this chapter...I've let Teddy Lupin into my life and I can't get him out. It's hard. I'm rushing like hell and it isn't good, so after this chapter, give me a little time off...a week or so...to get my mind right on this one. Also - everything in italics is pretty much downright sex, so if you don't want to read it, then skip every italicized word. **

* * *

He tossed and turned next to a sleeping Tonks next to him on the last night they'd be spending together at the Burrow. The next day they would be going to Tonks's parents to live there awhile, since it was a bigger, much less crowded home. At the Burrow they could get no privacy.

His restless mind prevented him from even feeling tired. It was about a month and a half that Tonks was pregnant now, and thinking about the child developing in her womb was sometimes overwhelming to him. He was not meant to be a father. He wasn't even _ready _to be a father.

Propping himself up against the pillows, he closed his eyes and thought back to the moment this whole fiasco had just begun, back to their wedding night, when they were just so madly in love…

_After Remus closed the door, he walked to the opposite point of the room and gave a devilish smile to Tonks, who returned it with sheer interest. Their eyes met, and they approached each other as if in a romantic film, and they began to kiss like he'd never kissed her before. It was almost as if it was mandatory for their tongues to wrestle with each other as they stood next to Percy's double bed, which he didn't feel bad about having sex on. What Percy didn't know wouldn't hurt him…_

_"Oh, Remus," said Tonks as she suddenly broke away from the kiss, "you…" Her gaze into his brown eyes told him something else, and he raised his eyebrows, excited feelings flowing through his veins._

_"And you…" He didn't finish the sentence as he let his eyes transfer the rest to her, as if it were a secret type of communication. The weight of his dress robes seemed to increase as everything in him wanted to rip the clothes off the both of them. Grinning suggestively, he led her to sit with him on the edge of the bed, where he ran a rough hand through her vivid pink hair as he began to kiss her again._

_Remus suddenly felt her hand moving slowly up and down his thigh, each time closer to his waistline, her fingers oh so close to the part of him wanting to break out. He wasn't particularly fond of her teasing him the way she was, and he bit down on her bottom lip a little. She emitted a soft moan, and he grinned into their kiss. _

_Suddenly he felt his robes being ripped off violently as Tonks broke away from their kiss, and in turn, he hastily yanked off her dress, enjoying the view of her almost naked figure. Once they were left in their underwear, he quickly pushed her down on top of the bed, kissing her hungrily, wanting more with every taste of her lips._

_"R-Remus," he barely heard her say, but he was too busy on top of her, attacking her with kisses. He was careful not to let himself bite her neck as he did this. _

_"You know you love it, Nymphadora," he growled through grinning teeth._

_"Don't call me - OH!"_

_He'd made it to her collarbone, pinching a sensitive muscle with his mere fingers, and he laughed. Once she realized what he'd done, she grinned back at him, reached a hand down to his package in a sneaky fashion, so that once she made a grab, she got a startled noise from him in response._

_"You want to play like that, then?" Remus said, his smile getting ever naughtier, and she held a look of innocence on her face._

_For a while, they got under the sheets to play a bit of "Doctor", but then, Remus found the time to be serious about this. But before he could make a move, she pushed him down first, lowering herself on top of him, and straddling him so as he grunted and groaned with pleasure._

_"That's the spot…" _

_But they switched positions soon enough, and as he got down on top of her, he pressed his lips to hers while quickly slipping his silk boxers down just a bit. As he pulled away from the kiss, they grinned at each other. _

_"You tell me what to do," he told her, and he slipped off her own underwear as well. He couldn't help touching her first and she shivered with surprise, but in no time, he got down to business. With one great motion, he thrust himself inside of her, earning himself the loudest moan he'd ever heard._

_"Remus!" Tonks cried out, digging her fingernails hard into his back._

_Ignoring the pain, Remus worked his hips while breathing a little heavily. Hearing her moans and cries felt relaxing and satisfying to him as he ground himself against her as hard as he could, and he knew he'd never forget the sound she made when she'd reached her climax…_

Remus could remember it now. He could remember everything: The skin, the sweat, the pleasure, the moans, and the pain the following morning. He still regretted it. He knew that marrying Tonks had been a great mistake. He wasn't meant to marry!

He sighed. It was at least three in the morning. He quietly got out of bed and walked over to the cluttered desk that Percy had obviously used as a studying area while at school. Sitting down, he dug through the drawer, taking care to be as silent as possible, and at last found a piece of parchment and a quill, along with a full bottle of ink. It seemed that Percy was never unprepared.

He sighed. He knew this was what he was going to do. It had to be done. He couldn't live with her. Carefully opening up the jar of black ink, he dipped the quill in it and wrote in the very little light provided by the candle on the desk:

_Nymphadora,_

_I am sorry to say this, but when you wake up, I will be gone. I can't tell you where I'm going or what I will be doing, but just put your trust in me. I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. I'm sorry but…I feel like marrying you was a mistake. I'm a werewolf, and my kind don't usually marry or breed. I'll be a horror to my own son or daughter. I can't let that happen. I'm sure you will raise the child very well on your own. I'm sorry. I love you. _

_Sincerely,_

_Remus_

He sighed, reading over the letter several times. Feeling his eyes well up with tears at his own actions, he folded the piece of parchment and wrote "Tonks" on it hastily. He placed it on her bedside table where she'd find it in the morning, and he proceeded to silently pack up a rucksack filled with necessities he'd need.

When he was ready to go, he slung the rucksack over his shoulder, kissed the heavily sleeping Tonks on her forehead, and left the bedroom for the final time he knew he ever would.

He crept down the stairs in the early hours of the morning, and when he finally made it to the kitchen, he closed his eyes and Apparated out of the Weasley home.

* * *

**Yes, no, or maybe so?**


	8. The Mind of a Werewolf

**FF has been a total faggot (sorry for my unnecessary language) - it cut off a whole two paragraphs of the last chapter, so if it seemed unclear to you at the beginning, then you'll know why. I don't know if that's been going around. But I know there's a bug that won't show new chapters and stuff…it's happened to me several times around the site.**

**Thank you all so much for your reviews. **

**I am starting a Teddy Lupin fic; dunno if I'll post it soon enough, though. I do have the prologue written, but it's hard to read the same type of story when you're writing something like that, if you get that…(It's 2:15 am and I'm tired as hell.)**

**Without further ado…here you go. Chapter 8…**

Three weeks had passed since Remus had left his wife with nothing but a poor explanation scrawled carelessly onto a slip of parchment. Looking back, Remus reflected upon his actions and realized that he _could _have taken a bit more time, but he convinced himself that he didn't care in the least. He was not meant to get married, let alone have a child, as he'd told himself so many times in the past month. He still couldn't believe his stupidity. He could have called off his initial engagement to Nymphadora, or at least been more careful while they were entangled in a mass of sheets together, rubbing against each others' bodies in the very midst of their love…

Remus shook these thoughts in particular out of his head. By now he was almost _disgusted _at the fact that a werewolf had made love to her - he didn't even think of himself as _him; _he thought of himself as a discriminated-upon werewolf. A _thing, _a monster, a beast. A man with a lycanthropy so terrible it strangled him and put him at risk each month on the full moon. At this thought, he grabbed a fistful of his own hair in an infuriating rage: The full moon would be in just a few days.

For the past couple of days he'd been staying at the Three Broomsticks, which he usually would have considered to be a cheap and predictable place to hide, but he desperately needed to load up on food again. He was tired; setting up a tent and sleeping on the ground (or not even sleeping at all) made things worse.

But today he would be leaving the Three Broomsticks to continue on his endless journey. He had been packing his very few things into his rucksack the past twenty minutes or so. He felt refreshed and even a bit exuberant as he left the inn and pub that morning, paying the small rooming fee.

Things had otherwise not been going very well for the Wizarding world in general. Scrimegeour had been mercilessly killed on the day of Bill and Fleur's wedding, and the Ministry of Magic had been taken over by Voldemort, snatching away the hope out of the lives of many. This made being on the run extremely tough for Remus: There was that persistent worry tapping him on the shoulder every few minutes to say hello that he would be spotted by Fenrir Greyback. Spotted and killed. As he left Hogsmeade and eventually wound up an oblivious stand-out among all the Muggles as he walked the streets of London, he almost wished he could write to the others…

He knew where his destination would be this time, though, rather than aimlessly wandering about. He was going to go to number twelve, Grimmauld Place, where he knew Harry and his friends would be. He knew that they were about to embark on the quest Dumbledore had asked them to complete. He wanted to go with them. This way it would be so much easier to get away from _her_ - besides, he knew that he was a very intelligent, skilled wizard, one who would be of great use to three seventeen-year-olds. The protection of an adult, someone wiser and more experienced, would be an enormous help to them. They couldn't just turn the idea down. And when he would tell them why he wanted to accompany them on such a great journey, he was sure they'd understand his reasons.

Ducking into the nearest public men's room, he quickly occupied an empty stall. To get to number twelve safely, he'd have to Apparate so that he'd make it on the front doorstep of the house. There were sure to be at least two or three Death Eaters patrolling the entrance, guarding the house in case any foolish Order members showed up, at which time they'd kill them. The traitorous dog Snape, who'd turned out to be a Death Eater, knew the way to get into the house.

Locking the grimy stall door and focusing all his thoughts on the front step of number twelve and nothing but the front step, he closed his eyes and Apparated out of the men's room.

* * *

Remus punched the door to a room in the Shrieking Shack as hard as he could. Anger boiled within him like no other emotion ever had before as he flung his fists at the weak wooden door until it finally broke off its hinges and landed on the floor with a loud crash. His chest heaved up and down. He could feel the redness in his face as he stared down at the broken door before him, thinking harshly of the words Harry Potter had said to him just a short while ago.

_"Coward!"_

Remus John Lupin is not a coward, he thought as he looked desperately around the familiar room for something else to break, while the wretched word etched itself permanently into his brain. In haste he snatched a glass piece from a nearby table and destroyed it by throwing it down on the floor and watching it smash into a thousand tiny pieces.

_I'M NOT A COWARD!_

Remus fell hopelessly to his knees and looked around the room. Dumbledore had created the Shrieking Shack especially for Remus, for him to flee to on the nights when a full moon shone brightly in the sky, while he was attending Hogwarts for the school year. Dumbledore was gone. A long, twisted string of thoughts ran its course through his mind. Thoughts of Tonks, Dumbledore, Harry's unforgiving harsh words, the fact that he knew he couldn't bring up a child, even memories of when he had been here in this room as a schoolboy flashed before him, dazing him. He felt delusional. He felt stupid and idiotic. Most of all, he felt remorseful as he finally realized the truth on the words Harry spoke.

He, Remus John Lupin, was a complete and utter coward and he knew it.

He regretted and worried about the decisions he'd made with Tonks, such as the wedding and their unchangeable intimacy. He felt like he wasn't meant for her, he was worthless and nothing but a monster in the eyes of many. But most of all, he'd been so afraid and terrified of his future with her that he had abandoned his wife and unborn child, leaving her to raise a baby on her own.

He fell down on his back on the hard wooden floor, brought his scarred hands to his face, and uncontrollably wept. He felt horrible and knew that he was at the lowest of the low. He knew that he _did _love Tonks. He _did _love those most private moments that they'd shared together on Percy Weasley's bed.

And he _would _love his son or daughter.

He wouldn't need to be explained about to his child when he or she wondered why he didn't have a father. He wouldn't be the absent arm around Tonks as she slept alone at night.

But still he lay in a vulnerable position, letting himself cry, while he thought hard, working out a plan. He would stay here at the Shrieking Shack the next week or so, until the full moon passed, only with protective spells over the "haunted" building.

Then he'd leave the Shrieking Shack and eat again somewhere on Hogsmeade.

And then he'd return at long last to the woman he loved so, so much.

* * *

**Sorry that this is a bit short - I can't help but write short chapters, I guess. A long chapter would mean combining two of mine, haha. Anyway, review it and tell me what you think. Suggestions are nice, as well as constructive criticism. I'm sure I misspelled a few things or used a few words wrongly...Is wrongly a word?**


	9. The Woes of Nymphadora

**So here's a short little catch-up with Tonks. **

* * *

"He won't! He's not ever going to come back, Molly - and don't lie and say he will, because _you know _he won't!"

Tonks was staring wildly at Molly in the kitchen of the Burrow with a mixture of several emotions on her face: anger, sadness, hopelessness. She hadn't gone back to her parents' house with Remus as they'd originally planned to do almost a month ago because he'd left her. How could she have ever explained to her parents what had happened with her unfaithful husband if she came through the door of her old home without his arm linked with hers? Surely her parents would have scolded her and gone over the whole routine of them having preferred her to marry a "normal" man. _"This would only happen with someone like _him_!" _her father would say in an outrage. That was why she'd written to them with a poor excuse, saying they would continue to stay at the Burrow for Order business…

"Tonks, please don't be this way," said Molly as she looked apologetic and pleading towards Tonks. Her eyes held a sympathetic, motherly look, but the stubborn Metamorphmagus would not settle for what she called lies.

"I don't care what you say, Molly, I don't care!" Tonks yelled, speaking more to the ceiling than Molly herself. "Surely he's not coming back after leaving a note like that…"

"Tonks - " Molly started, but Tonks wouldn't stand for her persistent pleads to believe that Remus would someday return.

"He's not coming home!" Tonks shouted for what felt like the millionth time, louder than ever. "All he did was set me up. He set me up to leave me. It was shallow love and shallow lies, that's all. He's scum, Molly, I…" She closed her eyes tightly as she felt them well up with tears. "I hate him…but I love him so much at the same time…"

Her voice broke and she helplessly plopped down into a chair at the breakfast table, unable to stop the salty tears sliding down her cheeks. Molly sat at the chair next to her and pulled her into a caring, loving hug.

"I'm here for you, dear…"

"Remus is the only man I've ever loved…" said Tonks as she pulled herself out of Molly's hug. "The only one I've ever loved, and he knows it. He left me. Molly, he fucking left me!" The anger came back as quickly as the sadness had arrived just seconds ago, and she slammed a fist down onto the table, dipping her head so that her mousy-colored bangs hung in front of her teary eyes.

Molly seemed too taken aback to get onto her for her choice of language, because it was silent for a whole minute. Tonks wasn't crying as hard now but she still let the tears flow as she held her face in her hands.

"Tonks, can't you at least be optimistic about it?" Molly finally asked, with an air of daring to say it.

And then Tonks broke. In a flash, she rose from the table and rushed past a couple of eavesdropping Weasley children (she couldn't tell who but was sure it was the twins) back up to Percy's bedroom, where she'd been spending most of her time locked up in, and had once been shared by her and Remus…

Putting an unbreakable spell on the door so that she could be alone, she flung herself onto the large, always-comfortable queen bed and sobbed into a pillow. She didn't care how loud she was or who was trying to listen at the door or get in. She couldn't live with bottled-up emotions.

After she'd been crying awhile, she sat up in the middle of the bed and hugged her knees to her chest, trying to slow her tears. Nightfall had been some time ago, she realized, as she looked out the window at the stars and the full moon.

_The full moon._

Tonks suddenly wished incredible pain upon Remus as he underwent his monthly transformation on this night. But she still felt a little worried: What if he really _did _hurt himself? She couldn't help but wonder if he was safe at the place he was in, wherever that may be. But she shook these thoughts out of her mind upon a sudden realization: _I'm supposed to hate him!_

She sighed as she stared at the bright-shining full moon through big, glossy, still hopeful eyes one last time before falling asleep on her side on the queen bed, exhausted from staying up whole nights, waiting to see if Remus Lupin would ever return to his wife…

* * *

**There you have it. What do you think? Also - wrongly _is _a word, it seems...Haha. Review it - I know it's short, so don't restate that, thanks. Ha ha.**


	10. The Return

**Dedicated to nancystagerat.**

Remus was on his knees on the floor of an upstairs room in the Shrieking Shack, breathing heavily, his clothes ripped so badly that all that remained were mere shreds hanging from him feebly. It was dawn; the sun was slowly rising on the day after the full moon, and Remus felt more exhausted than usual: Last night's transformation _had _to have been one of the most painful he'd ever experienced. As he transitioned from the hard wooden floor to a dusty armchair, he rested up a little, trying to think.

Since he'd made the decision to go back to his wife after the full moon, he'd had a couple of days to evaluate himself and the poor choices he'd made in the past month or so. He felt horrible, at the lowest of the low, for making a dedicated commitment at the altar and abandoning his promise and the only woman he ever loved. He didn't like to think about how much he'd probably hurt her by walking out on her, but every so often it would come to him, constricting its way around his throat until it choked him. He knew he missed her. Furthermore, he knew he loved her. Forcing himself to wait through the full moon had been incredibly tough on him, but through all last night's pain he still felt was pure happiness…

He would be returning to her today.

He spent most of the rest of the day sleeping, resting his tired and worn out muscles. At dusk, he changed into a different set of robes and packed up his rucksack, feeling anxious. He was afraid of what she'd say when she saw him for the first time in a month. Would she cry tears of joy, or would she yell at him in anger? Knowing Tonks, he guessed she'd be aggressive with him.

He threw on an old traveling cloak before covering his tracks and Disapparating from the Shrieking Shack, a place that had been his hideout while he was a schoolboy at Hogwarts. He felt excited to return to the Burrow, to see Tonks again, and to savor one of Molly's simply delicious home-cooked meals. He arrived safely in Molly's well-kept garden and, being careful not to tread on her precious plants, he walked around the house to the front.

But on his way, he heard a great commotion coming from out the kitchen window, and he stopped just outside it, hiding below it and eavesdropping in on the conversation. From what he could tell over the clatter of something like pots and pans, he could hear Tonks's voice, and he listened intently.

"Tonks, we've been over this a thousand times!" Remus recognized it as Molly's voice. "Can't you just have a little hope?"

"He isn't going to come back!" said Tonks's easily identifiable, and it sounded as if there were tears in her throat. Remus stopped breathing: Had he really caused that much pain on her?

"Tonks!" It was Arthur, who sounded angry. "He was just scared about rushing into this, that's all, he'll come back, I know he - "

"He won't!" His wife now sounded like she was crying, and this told Remus that it seemed to be the most appropriate time to become her knight in shining armor and save her from her troubles. He went around the house so he wouldn't be seen, and when he approached the front door, he took a breath. Nerves were catching up: Was he ready to do this? Was he ready to face the woman he'd left behind and betrayed?

He shook the doubts out of his head. He knew it was time for him to come back to her. He raised a fist and knocked loudly on the door. The sounds of the heated argument inside subsided almost immediately, and Remus heard Molly's voice quavering as she asked nervously, "W-who is it? Who's there?"

Remus sighed, keeping a completely straight face. _This is it._ "It is I, Remus John Lupin. Married to Nymphadora, and soon to have a child - "

But he didn't even get to finish the sentence as the door was thrown open and little Molly Weasley seized the collar of his robes, pulling him in roughly. Remus felt worried as he winced at the angry expression on her face, but as his chocolate eyes glanced around the room, he felt even worse.

Arthur was shooting disappointed looks at him, shaking his head and looking away and back every few seconds; Ginny was staring at him absently, obviously amazed that he'd come back; Fred and an earless George looked stunned themselves; but the worst sight of all was Tonks, whose hair was a very dank brown color. There were tear tracks on her face. As she looked at Remus, her big eyes showed a strange combination of emotions: He saw anger and hatred deep in them, but on top was sadness and hopelessness. As he locked eyes with her, he felt a horrible feeling stir in the pit of his stomach. He gulped, his throat feeling tight.

Molly finally let go of his robes and he continued to stare at Tonks. An eerie silence fell over the kitchen, making Remus's skin crawl unpleasantly. He felt strange and almost sick with nerves. Why was he so afraid? His feet felt heavy as he slowly approached her with a look of utmost care and respect for her on his face, as if to apologize by his expression, but he had a bad feeling that wouldn't work.

They stood in silence for another minute longer, doing nothing but looking at each other, as if they were waiting for the other to make a move. The kitchen remained completely silent. There was so much Remus wanted to say, but the words were stuck in his throat. He opened his mouth to say something, but Tonks acted first.

It happened fast: There was a short gasp from somewhere behind him before he felt an incredible pain in his left cheek - Tonks had slapped him, and hard, at that. He was knocked back a couple steps by the impact; he hadn't been expecting her to _hit _him, but he guessed he deserved her. He looked back at her with a mixture of horror and fright in his face, afraid of her slapping him again.

"Are you out of your mind?" he exclaimed immediately, not realizing it was a mistake until after he said it.

"What d'you mean; 'am I out of my mind'?" shouted Tonks angrily, he sound of her voice scared Remus. She went on, "What about you, who was so out of his own mind to leave me a damned _note _telling me you're leaving and won't be coming back? You could have at least waited until I woke up to tell me such thing, so I could say goodbye, Remus!"

"I - "

"Remus," Tonks went on, and it seemed she was near tears, "how could you leave me? I thought…" She paused to blink a few times, trying to stop the tears from flowing. "I thought you loved me…You go and leave me, Remus! Why did you have to do this?"

"Dora, I - "

"You don't realize how much you hurt me," Tonks said, now unable to resist crying, and the tears fell out of her eyes and poured down her cheeks. Remus felt remorseful at seeing her cry, and he turned his head away, but her seizing his robes made him look straight into her hurt eyes.

"I thought you loved me," she repeated, and the words seemed to have an inevitable effect on Remus. He stared at her, and it was quiet for a moment. His eyes were locked with hers and he almost felt as if he were put under her command.

"I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!" shouted Tonks suddenly, making at least one other person in the room jump. Remus recognized that inextinguishable fire in her eyes, and the only thing he could do was to fight fire with fire.

"I DO LOVE YOU!" he yelled as loud as he could, knowing he was earning the stares of the Weasleys on his back, knowing he was being truthful. His chest was heaving as he breathed unusually heavily, and he looked her straight in the eye and said, "Nymphadora Tonks, I love you with all my heart. I was an idiot, a complete fool, to leave someone like you behind..." He paused to bite his lip: The angry flare in her eyes had vanished mysteriously.

Tonks had stopped crying, but it was impossible to tell whether or not she had stopped for good. She looked up at him through now hopeful eyes and said breathlessly, "Why?" Her words fell like feathers upon Remus's head and he embraced them as softly as they came.

"I was afraid," he admitted to her in a gentle tone. "I was so scared about having a child with you…I was regretting the fact that I ever married you. I'm a werewolf, and werewolves don't usually marry and breed." He paused, searching for the perfect words to say. "I felt that marrying you, Dora, was a mistake," he said, "but if it was…then it was the best mistake I've ever made."

Tonks looked up at him with starry eyes for a few seconds before shouting his name and enclosing herself in his big arms. She hugged him tightly, crying silently into his shoulder. He held her close to him, his fingers in her now soft, bright pink hair.

"I'm sorry I hit you," she said quietly.

"Shh," he shushed her quietly.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

**The reason I dedicated this chapter to nancystagerat is because I'm quite sure she's been pretty excited to read about Remus's return to ol' Tonks. Plus, she's been helping me out by pointing out and correcting my grammar mistakes and also naming the good stuff, which boosts my confidence about this story. Also - talk to me on AIM, guys, my screen name is AdelineFlip. I want to hear from ya personally, I guess. Either that, or I'm THAT bored…**


	11. Christmas

**Sorry it took me about ten years to update - I've been at the beach the past four days with my family. I did eventually go to an internet café, but I didn't have enough money for time to read/update fanfics. This is my longest chapter yet (6 pages on MS Word) and probably one that I don't like too much. It's good and bad, if you asked me. I tried to do really well with grammar and all, but I think I just fucked the whole thing up. Whatever - you better enjoy it all the same. I am still working on the first chapter to my Teddy fic…**

Remus's breath fell heavily in large puffs of smoke as he dragged himself back to the Burrow at dawn. His raggedy clothes lived up to (and well past) their name as they hung from him loosely, stretched out or torn in places from last night's transformation during the full moon. Not once had he ever looked forward to the full moon, but last night's hadn't been as bad as it normally had. Of course, his regular transformation was still excruciatingly painful, but he'd managed to stay within one hundred yards of the Burrow, and maintain some control over his monstrous weren form. He imagined he must have looked hopeless as he dragged himself across the lawn, covered by a four- or five-inch blanket of snow, wearing enough to make him freeze on the spot. He hugged his arms, shivering violently, as he made his way up to the Burrow's front door, praying that Arthur or Molly or somebody would be up. He preferred Tonks to greet him this particular morning.

The Burrow had been decorated accordingly to the Christmas season for about a week or two now, but he hadn't really noticed it until now. In between Order work and caring for his pregnant wife, he hadn't had time to stop and smell the roses. Garland was strewn about and the gnomes appeared at first to look like miniature versions of Santa Claus. Anyone looking at the house, even from a distance, could tell that it was a cheerful place to spend the holidays. It looked happy amidst all the chaos about Voldemort. A strange mix of feelings filled Remus; he felt as if he were coming home from Hogwarts for the holiday break. It was almost a depressing sight, because he wondered if he'd been invited to dinner at the Weasley's, or - he dreaded this thought - dinner at Tonks's parents' house. He liked Tonks's parents, but he wasn't entirely confident that they were as fond of him.

Panting, Remus approached the front door and knocked very lightly, hoping to distinguish sounds of Molly cooking an early breakfast inside. He waited somewhat impatiently: He was freezing and exhausted and just wanted a warm bed to sleep in for a few hours before dinner that evening, wherever that may be taking place for him.

His usual soft, gentle smile came to his face when he heard a muffled version of Arthur's voice come from the other side of the door. "Who's there?" he called out softly, and Remus felt the impression that Arthur was probably the only one up.

"Remus John Lupin, married to Nymphadora Tonks and expecting a child in the next three or four months," he answered Arthur in the exact same tone of voice. "Just getting back from the full moon." He paused for a split second. "Open the door, Arthur, it's snowing and I'm about to die."

In one quick moment, the door was flung open and Remus was yanked inside almost as fast as the door had come open. Arthur slipped one of his own big overcoats over Remus's shoulders and then hugged him tightly, like a best friend would do, as if it would bring warmth. And it did, but it was a different kind of warmth than that intended - Remus's best friends were all dead, as far as he knew. Losing Sirius had been more painful than he'd thought, and he felt out of business when it came to friends. Arthur was a great friend to him, and he embraced the fact.

"All right, Remus?" Arthur said by way of greeting. "It's bloody _cold _out there, honestly, I was getting a bit worried. It's almost seven," he added; on Remus's past couple excursions he'd returned at about four or five in the morning.

"Oh," said Remus blankly. "I dunno." He walked into the living room with Arthur and sat down on the couch, while Arthur took an armchair, where he unfurled the morning's _Daily Prophet _and scanned it while making conversation.

"You should get sleep," he said, noting the fact that Remus's eyelids were drooping. "Rest up in time for dinner tonight. If you miss Molly's turkey, she'll murder you."

Remus offered his soft smile. "I'll be going to sleep shortly," he said in his hoarse voice, yawning at the end of his sentence. He looked around the room, analyzing it. There was a large Christmas tree in the corner of the room, its emerald branches magically lit up in places. A few ornaments hung from it, but the main attraction was the angel sitting atop the tree. It seemed to emit a particular glow, something joyful in the room. The flames of the roaring fire welcomed Remus and calmed him down from the cold weather outside, making him feel sleepier.

He turned his head, looking towards the door, as if hoping his wife would come through suddenly. He'd only been gone a night, but he'd missed her. He'd missed having his arm around her bosom as they slept side-by-side at night on Percy Weasley's old bed…the smell of her vibrant pink hair…the smile she gave him when she woke up right after him in the morning…

"Remus," came Arthur's voice suddenly, and his head snapped up: He'd almost nodded off. Arthur laughed. "You need sleep, mate. Go on ahead, just be up and ready for dinner by five or six."

"I'll go in a moment." Remus looked back at the fireplace, then up at the stockings tacked upon the mantelpiece. He found the names of Arthur, Molly, Fred, George, Ginny, and - he paused for a short gasp of air. The last two were for Tonks and himself. He felt strange immediately, like he'd felt when he was first accepted by Padfoot, Prongs, and Wormtail as a friend.

"Like the stockings?" asked Arthur, smiling warmly and looking at him over the top of his spectacles.

"You didn't have to do that," he responded softly, pointing at the two extra stockings on the end.

"Nonsense," Arthur said immediately. "When you're here, Remus, you're family."

Remus felt dazed in his own happiness as he glanced at the Christmas tree, wondering if there would be something for him there tomorrow morning. He wondered if Molly would take to knitting him a Weasley sweater as well. He decided he'd wear it no matter what, even if it was itchy, or too small, or too large. He would wear it.

"Go to sleep," said Arthur again. "You're nodding off every few seconds."

Remus sighed. "I'll be back in a few hours," he said. "If I'm not up in time, someone wake me."

He left the living room, reluctant to leave behind the fire, and climbed up the stairs with heavy feet. He entered the bedroom he and Tonks were sleeping in quietly and closed the door behind him. He slipped into something more comfortable and carefully got under the blankets, being careful not to wake his wife. All he could see of her were tufts of her vivid pink hair poking out from under the blankets. Once under the blankets, he scooted ever closer to her and put his arm around her like usual. She hadn't stirred or made a sound, so he'd succeeded so far. But then he heard a voice.

"Good morning."

He jumped.

Tonks rolled over, with difficulty; it seemed, because of her stomach, growing larger in proportion to the days getting colder. Once facing him, she smiled warmly and leaned over to kiss his lips gently. He smiled back at her.

"Good morning," he said. "Sleep well?"

She nodded. "Just getting in?"

He too nodded. "I just need sleep, you know, as usual. I'm sorry I woke you up."

She looked like she wanted to laugh, but she was too tired. "I've been awake. I faked sleep as soon as I heard you coming in the door - it creaks, you know. Feeling your arm coming around me like that is somewhat creepy."

"Only because you didn't know it was coming," Remus said, a bit defensively. "Merry Christmas - early," he added.

"You too."

It was the last two words he heard before he fell asleep peacefully by her side.

* * *

Many hours later, Remus found himself sitting next to Tonks on the couch with the rest of the Weasleys, full of Molly's fantastic turkey dinner. He held a half-empty glass of champagne on his knee, what had to be his third or fourth glass, and when he noticed it was only half-empty, he downed the entire rest of it in one.

"Take it easy on the wine!" Tonks scolded him, slapping his arm.

Remus, feeling like a young child receiving his Christmas presents, smiled gleefully, matching the grins on Fred and George's faces. He was not drunk at all, but happy and excited to be spending his Christmas with his wife, whom he loved, and most of the Weasley family. Bill and Fluer had come for dinner, but left shortly after, and Remus knew by the look on Bill's face as they rushed out of the Burrow that he was planning something special for his wife. He only wished he could do the same for his wife, but it was impossible in the present situation.

"I am taking it easy on the wine," Remus finally answered. He turned to Molly. "The dinner was wonderful, Molly, but you should all have to come to our house next Christmas." He smiled warmly.

"If we ever get a house," said Tonks. Until the war was over they wouldn't be shopping for their own home. It was too risky, almost, because of the people selling houses - they could any day be Death Eaters, and Remus and Tonks submitting their personal information could easily get them killed. Of course, this was an absurd way to think, Remus had said to himself when he and Tonks were discussing it, but they couldn't take too many chances. He'd felt silly when explaining it to Arthur and Molly, because the last thing he wanted was to be a burden upon their shoulders, but they were glad to have them longer.

It was silent in the room for a couple minutes. Remus glanced around; at his wife, who was drinking something that wasn't alcoholic; at Fred and George, who were on the verge of letting loose and getting themselves drunk; at Molly and Arthur, who sat closely next to each other on a loveseat; and finally at Ginny, who sat in a chair by the fire, looking sad. She was the only one besides Tonks who wasn't drinking champagne.

"Dear, something wrong?" Molly asked her daughter as soon as Remus thought of asking. Molly looked a little worried to see Ginny, who was usually bright and happy, looking so down.

"No," answered Ginny, "just a little tired, that's all." Remus could tell by her tone that she was not telling the complete truth. It was a tone he'd used many times before, more often in his days with James, Sirius, and Peter, and one he'd mastered. As he watched Molly and Ginny, he caught the teenage girl's eye and raised his eyebrow, hoping to pass along the message that he was wondering what she was worrying about, even if he felt nosy.

"Ginny," said Molly, raising both eyebrows at her. "Ease up a bit on the worries, dear. He'll be fine."

"He could get himself killed!" Ginny said, raising her voice to a yell. All noise in the room was suspended, even the twins' odd conversation, and every pair of eyes was on Ginny, who continued, "Both - all - of them could get killed! It's too dangerous out there!"

"Ginny, please, just relax and enjoy the holiday - " Arthur tried, but it was too late. Ginny stood and left the room hastily, and the sounds of her stomping up the stairs to her bedroom made Remus's skin crawl. Arthur looked around the room, muttering apologies toward him and Tonks, and Molly left to go talk to her daughter.

"Another glass, Remus?" Arthur asked suddenly, trying to distract everyone from Ginny.

"Remus doesn't need anymore wine, thanks," said Tonks, and Remus gave her a look that said the words for him. She continued, "You've had four or five glasses, and besides, I don't want you drunk on Christmas Eve. Or while I'm pregnant," she added in a whisper, winking so he'd get the message.

"May as well go to bed then," he said, standing and helping her up. "G'night, everyone - Arthur, thanks tons for the dinner; it was wonderful."

"Our pleasure," said Arthur, standing up as well. "Good night."

* * *

Sometime in the middle of Christmas Day, Remus was standing in the kitchen drinking a late cup of coffee and thinking about the events of that morning. They'd gotten up around ten o'clock in the morning and unwrapped the presents around the tree. Such a happy atmosphere emanated from the place, it was as if the war against Voldemort was not happening, and Remus embraced that feeling. His only gift under the tree was exactly what he'd expected: A Weasley sweater, one that was pure and fresh from the hands of Molly Weasley. It was a dark brown, almost black color, and a small gold "R" had been stitched over the right breast. When he'd opened it, he almost broken down in tears and smiled warmly at Molly, saying in a quiet voice, "I love it."

After gifts had been opened, Tonks brought him aside and had said while holding his hands, "I'm sorry I didn't get you anything."

But all he did was smile his soft smile and kiss her forehead. "I didn't want anything for Christmas," he said, "but you, Dora."

This sentence put happy tears in his wife's eyes, bringing a bigger smile to his face.

Now, he was leaning against the kitchen counter, sipping a cup of coffee casually while watching his wife scan the _Daily Prophet _with presumptuous, half-open eyes. He wondered what was going through her mind as she turned the pages so quickly it seemed she could have ripped them out if she wasn't careful. He wondered if _he _was on her mind, like she was on his. He permitted himself a secret smile as he again raised the coffee mug to his lips for another sip.

"What're you thinking about?" Arthur asked quietly as he approached Remus in the corner of the kitchen. Remus nodded and used his eyes to gestured to Tonks sitting at the table, and Arthur nodded as well, letting his mouth form a perfect "O". He said, "You love her, aye?"

Remus nodded and grinned a little. "More than anything." He could feel his cheeks growing hot and he wished he could have had more control over his emotions. As his eyes traveled down her body, his eyes lingered on her breasts for a moment, and then stopped on her rather large stomach. It reminded him that while she was like this, he couldn't enjoy that same skin-to-skin pleasure he'd experienced on their wedding night. He bit his lip, wishing he wouldn't have to fight the temptations shot at him, and he looked at his shoes while asking Arthur in a very low voice, "How did you deal with it?"

"Deal with what?" asked Arthur in the same volume as he, sounding a little confused. Remus looked up at him and raised an eyebrow, letting his body language transfer his message, and Arthur's mouth again formed another "O" and he grinned. "I understand what you're talking about," he said in the same low tone. "You just have to wait it out. I know nine months is a long time, mate, but when it's over - give it a couple weeks after the birth - you'll be able to get back in there."

Remus felt a little odd to hear it from Arthur, but he smiled again. "I see," he said, almost a whisper now. "And you managed to do this - what - six or seven times?"

Arthur laughed softly. "I managed," he said. "Don't worry. I'm sure she's going through something like the same thing."

"Maybe that explains the mood swings," Remus joked, happier than he had been in what felt like years, and he laughed along with Arthur. Little did he know that the atmosphere would soon change.

As Molly washed dishes at the sink, there was a knock at the door, and before any questions were asked, a familiar deep voice called, "It's Kingsley Shacklebolt, who usually protects the Muggle prime minister, and has come to bear news to Remus and Nymphadora Lupin, who are married and expecting a child."

Remus walked forward and opened the door with a puzzled look on his face: If Kingsley had come to deliver him and his wife news, was it something bad? Had something happened? He wondered these things as Kingsley's dark figure stepped over the threshold, giving off an ominous impression.

"Kingsley," said Remus respectively, glancing over his shoulder at Tonks, who was looking up and apparently worrying too. "Something wrong?" He bit his lip and tried to look casual.

"Remus, Nymphadora," Kingsley said by way of greeting, nodding at them both, "I'm…I'm sorry to say this, but…" He paused and sighed, folding his hands behind his back. Remus was jumping with nerves, knowing what was coming next, and he hurried over to the other side of the table and helped Tonks up, wanting her to stand with him rather than sit in a chair. He grasped her hand with a twinge of hope and looked into her eyes.

"No matter what happens we're sticking together," he whispered, and quietly so no one else would hear. She nodded and he kissed her cheek. "I love you, Nymphadora."

"I love you too, Remus." He could barely hear her words, falling out of her mouth softly. Together they turned away from each other's eyes and looked back at Kingsley, who appeared to be feeling quite awkward during the moment he'd kissed her.

"Go on," said Remus.

Kingsley took a breath and said, "I was sent to inform you that Ted Tonks was killed this morning by a couple of Death Eaters. I'm sorry."

"What?" Tonks yelled, and right after that an eerie silence fell over the kitchen. Remus glanced around one last time before tightly shutting his eyes to see Arthur looking pale and stone-faced and Tonks staring at Kingsley in disbelief with tears falling out of her eyes. He affectionately put an arm around her.

Even in the short time he'd known his father-in-law, the pain of losing him swept over Remus. He and Ted hadn't even been agreeable on most things, but it still came to him as a shock: He was _really _dead. He couldn't even begin to imagine how Tonks was feeling, and he opened his eyes again to look at her, only to close them again. Tears were streaming down her face. Remus absolutely hated seeing her cry - every time she did, it reminded him of that fateful day when he went back to her after a month.

Sighing and opening his eyes for a second time, he looked up at Kingsley and asked in a grave tone, "Is Andromeda okay?"

"Andromeda is safe," said Kingsley, "however, it is asked that the two of you go and live with her in her house. She's an old woman and wouldn't be able to fight off a few Death Eaters on her own if she were to be attacked."

"I can understand that," said Remus. He took a deep breath and whispered to Tonks, "It'll be okay, Tonks, I'm…I'm here for you." He paused, looking down at the ground, but as he was looking away, Tonks gripped him in a bone-breaking hug.

"I didn't want him to go, Remus, I didn't want him to die!" Tonks said while crying into his shoulder; her voice was muffled against his robes. "He didn't deserve it!"

"I know, just relax…" He wanted his voice to be something like a powerful tool, as if the words he said were everything she ever would have wanted. But he found himself barely able to speak. As he stood there, he wrapped his arms around her, encasing her shoulders for his own. "It'll be all right."

Somewhere in the distance, he barely heard Kingsley's voice bid them a merry Christmas - what was left of it - and leave solemnly over the sound of Tonks's sobs. It was an awkward hug between the two of them because of her stomach, but he didn't care. It was a hug and that was that.

"Don't worry, he's in a better place now," he whispered into her ear one final time, still unable to believe that Ted Tonks was dead, and knowing he'd have to talk about it that weekend on _Potterwatch. _

**There you have it. Honestly, I think I didn't do very well with describing emotions and such in this chapter. Er…Suggestions would be helpful, if you guys can do that. You're all awesome for reviewing this and keeping it on the first page when you search RLNT fics. Ha ha…so review it!**


	12. Thinking While Waiting

**Here is a short, evaluative/filler chapter to catch you up on Remus and Tonks's feelings currently in the storyline of this fic, and to satisfy you until I come up with the next big chapter. I wrote this at about 1 AM while unable to sleep and trying to think of new chapter ideas. I am trying out a new style of writing for this bit only, so let me know what you think - it similar to that of the style nancystagerat uses in her story 'Unconditional', which you should check out. Thanks a million for the reviews, by the way, the few that I received. My Teddy fic is now up and I'd advise you all to read the prologue of that one, which is the only bit I've put up. The first chapter is almost done. And as a final note before the chapter begins: Mute Math is an incredible and different band; my favorite songs of theirs are "Stare at the Sun" and "Chaos". That is all. **

He sits by the roaring fire of this somewhat new residence quietly, in what he feels to be an awkward position: He is sitting with one leg crossed over the other tightly, so as to prevent what could be an embarrassment waiting to happen in the crotch of his pants. He sits like this while watching her perform her morning stretches. He analyzes her every move, licking his lips as she turns this way and that. He has to bite his lip when she bends over forward as he catches a glimpse of her ever inviting breasts, just waiting for him.

But he can't act upon his will when she is like this. He wants so badly to recreate that one mere night they had spent together, each enjoying the other's taste and experiencing the greatest amount of pleasure they would ever receive while tangled up in thin white sheets that they did not own. He remembered grinning into her breast as he pressed his mouth to it that night when nothing mattered and it was just the two of them getting down to business.

As his eyes follow her constant bends and stretches, he stares in awe at her enormousness, amazed that he helped to create what was inside of it. He is so excited about the upcoming birth that no longer can he maintain his patience. He wants to see his son or daughter, a living human being that _he _had a part in making. But he also wants her stomach to dissipate and get back under the sheets with her, thinking dirty things and doing private activities with her. He guesses that it is just what every other married man would think. But oh, how he cannot wait until the birth. He is excited to see the tiny face he knows will be giggling soon.

The crackling of the fire seems to be the only noise in the room besides her few grunts or sighs. Outside, snow still covers the ground. He wishes winter to be over and done with once and for all, and he wants the warmer weather to come around. He yawns, but he pulls his legs together even more tightly as he catches another glimpse of her chest. He wants to keep his tempting emotions under control so that he doesn't give her the image that he is hungry for intimacy.

His mind wanders and eventually leads him to the tragedy that happened just a few days ago, the pain of her father leaving the world forever. He remembers the tears she shed on the sleeves of his robes as he lay next to her on their bed, comforting her. He put his arm around her and gave her a gentle squeeze. He whispered under his breath to her that he was there for her as her husband. He remembers how he hated seeing the tears in her eyes, how it reminded him of previous mistakes he'd made. He remembers how she hugged him as if she were clinging onto him for dear life, and how he embraced that feeling of being loved so much.

He loves her so much. He loves her more than anything. He knows he'll love her if he wakes up and the world is ending. He works hard to be dedicated to her and he caters to her every whim out of his unconditional love for her. He will do anything for her. He loves that vivid shade of pink that she prefers on the strands of her hair. The curves on her body delight him in times of darkness and despair. Her smile reassures him. He loves every little thing about her, and it drives him mad with love…

She leans against the kitchen counter casually while watching him sit at the table and read the day's newspaper. She loves the way his brow furrows upon reading all the false statements, and the way his light brown, graying hair falls into his eyes with a sort of casual elegance. A sense of confidence radiates off of him, dazzling her. She adores how he is always so dedicated to his work and to her, even, and as the child inside her kicks every so often, it delights her, and she loves the fact that its _theirs. _

She remembers the day he came back and fulfilled his commitment. She remembers the tears shed that day. And she remembers the tears that had fallen just a couple weeks previous when she'd learned her father had gone to rest. He had been there for her. He had been there for her to hug, and she wanted nothing more then the teddy bear he really was. She could unlock the sensitive feelings inside him. She knew all his secrets and he knew all of hers. She knew there was something more than just love between them. There was commitment and dedication past all their hardships together. They would be together until the very end.

She loves everything about him. She loves his shaggy, light hair and the beard he is sometimes too lazy to shave off. His lean, well-built figure has never ceased to amaze her, and even though she knows where every single scar or wound is on him, she still finds it rather sexy for him to be so rugged. She loves the whiskers he grew on his face a couple days before the full moon each month, and she loves raking her fingernails in them. Most of all, she loves waking up next to him each morning, sometimes after him, and she'd watch him get dressed. It was always a sort of show for her.

As the child kicks inside her, she smiles softly, unable to wait any longer for his or her birthday to arrive. She knows it is in the next two or three months. Excitement and anticipation build up inside her when the two of them converse about the subject. She can tell he is excited as well. And she has also caught him out on his own "excursions", and she loves the way his face reddens when she scares him in the midst of his privacy. She laughs at the fact that it is the only thing he can do during this time.

He betrayed her for a short time and left her, but he came back, and she still loves this about him. She remembers the strange mix of emotions she felt when she saw him walk through the door for the first time in a month or so. She remembers the tears she cried and the soft words he said when he held her tightly, close to his body. It was the same way just recently. She adores the fact that he is there to comfort her when she needs it, no matter what. She loves him too much for words…

**I hid a few things in here by using vague ways to describe them, I suppose - point them out in your reviews. There's probably only one major one. It made me laugh as I was writing it (I initially wasn't particularly excited about writing that bit, honestly). For now, it is 2 AM and I need to get to sleep. School begins next week for me - what a drag. It will be harder for me to update then, so please be patient with me. Thanks to anyone who reviews, and I'll be back soon with another exciting chapter…**


	13. Remus

**I decided to do a couple more fillers. This one is called 'Remus', the next, 'Nymphadora', and then I will escalate back to the main storyline. A precaution - this is a tad bit "dirty" as my friend judged (who often likes to say "tryin' to catch Flip writing dirty!", as Flip is my nickname), so just take that as a heads-up. I wrote this in spite of my 3 AM I-can't-sleep-and-must-write syndrome, plus, I wanted a bit of a laugh. So, I had to do it… xD**

Remus lay casually on the queen bed he shared with his wife, propped up on his pillows. He couldn't have fallen asleep even if every spell in the world had been put on him. The temptations kept him awake as usual: The oh-so-addictive activities that he could so easily fulfill with his right hand. Lately he'd been trying to turn himself away from such a thing. It was something he considered to be desperately counted on during times of dirty thinking or needs - counted on by scum. That was not the man he was. Remus John Lupin was not so low to sink to that horrible level.

But sometimes, he found that he just couldn't stop himself. Those times he'd shut himself up in his and Tonks's bedroom or bathroom to be alone seemed to be coming a bit too often than he'd have initially liked. That instant pleasure that he could easily generate on his own was almost too much to ask for. And in the aftermath of these times - a couple times, Tonks had even popped in on him in the process, forcing incredible embarrassment upon him - he would feel an immense amount of guilt weighing itself upon his shoulders. Most times he didn't feel satisfied of his odd cravings at all, it was more shame of himself that he was feeling.

Tonight, he lay on his side of the bed and watched his pregnant wife sleep soundly as she faced him. He found the slight snoring grunts she made every so often rather cute, and it brought that usual gentle, laid-back smile to his tired face. But he couldn't take his eyes off her breasts, which were practically hanging out of the long-sleeved v-neck she usually slept in. He rubbed his face, trying to forgive himself for thinking such dirty thoughts, but he still felt as if he could die from such horrible temptation at hand, if it is possible to exaggerate so far.

His eyes wandered around the room aimlessly; to the dresser where his black, patched-up traveling cloak lay beside the sweater he'd received for Christmas; to the pile of his clothes that he had carelessly tossed onto the floor while getting ready for bed that evening, which had marked two weeks they'd been at Tonks's mother's house; back to Tonks, whose stomach he glared at anxiously because he couldn't wait any longer for the baby to arrive; and finally, to the bathroom door, where his eyes stopped and stared at the doorknob hungrily. He bit his lip so hard he might have bitten straight through as he wondered whether or not he would give into himself tonight.

He glanced back at Tonks again, who was still sleeping soundly under the blankets, and then back at the wretched bathroom door, inviting him inside where he would once again attempt to go on a joy ride. The doorknob seemed to wink and smile at him, as if it would lure him in. Feeling those all-too-familiar nerves jumping, Remus sighed and slowly, carefully eased himself off the mattress, being extra-careful not to disturb his wife. He crept across the room and snuck bathroom, walking as if he were stepping on clouds. He turned the light on and rushed in after he pushed the door shut behind him, feeling as if he had to hurry. But he failed to realize that he hadn't completely closed and locked the door like he usually did to secure his privacy.

Moving quickly, he put down the lid of the toilet and sat down on it awkwardly, but the urge burning just below his waistline told him to forget about his doubts. He stared at the horrible flowery wallpaper on the bathroom walls that Andromeda had to have picked out. The pink flowers appeared to be staring at him and he felt strange, as if he were being watched. He paused to think; was he really going to get himself involved in this again? The image of her breasts fell into his mind and he couldn't stop himself this time; he let his hand dive under the waistband of his pajama pants as he gave into himself.

It wasn't long before he was escalated into a world of immense pleasurable feelings, falling down on top of him like rain. It was the only thing he could do, sadly, but it satisfied him - a bit too much, at that. He was nearly addicted to it, and he couldn't kick the habit. But a sly, mischievous grin came across his scarred features in the midst of it, and he ran his other hand through his thick hair, feeling a bit overdramatic in the process, but still loving every second of his alone time at three o'clock in the morning.

That is, he did until he felt two undeniably recognizable hands snake their way up his backbone and relax on his broad shoulders, the same two slender hands that had explored the unmentionable parts of his body, and the same two clever hands that had once slapped him across the face. At that familiar touch, he gasped, startled, and he yanked his hand up as fast as he could. A voice that lit his sense on fire whispered into his ear, "Wotcher."

Remus sighed as waves of embarrassment crashed over him and he could only feel utter shame and humiliation at being snuck up on by his own wife, deep in the midst of his privacy, the privacy he needed to fulfill his hunger for sex. He felt his cheeks burn violently red, as if he were a thirteen-year-old boy being caught by his mother in a situation like this, only here, the mother was being played by his own wife.

"Listen, I know you want to," began Tonks quietly, gently rubbing his tense shoulders while she spoke, "and you know that we can't. But my _goodness, _Remus, can't you be just a bit more patient?"

Remus could tell by Tonks's tone of voice that she sounded more exasperated than angry with him, and at that observation he guessed that he wasn't in trouble. He said quietly while still facing the wall, "I'm sorry, I…I just can't resist, you know, I'm a _man; _have you any idea how hard it is to go an entire nine months without it?" He felt awkward and still embarrassed.

But he could feel her smile as she pressed her lips to his cheek in a kiss, and right then and there he knew that she was obviously finding his humiliation rather funny. "That's a cheap excuse and you know it," she teased him gently.

"You wouldn't know what it's like," he told her defensively.

"No, I wouldn't," replied Tonks with an air of admittance, "but I would prefer it if you laid low until this baby is born and we can actually do it again. I'm not necessarily happy with the fact that you're coming in here late at night to do Merlin knows what, Remus. That's not the man I married." It was as if she could read his mind with that statement.

Remus turned around at long last to look at her, unable to stand hearing her voice without seeing her beautiful face. Her somewhat reassuring, yet loving smile caused him to return it with interest. She looked incredibly tired, but her eyes sparkled energetically: Her favorite pastime was poking fun at him in times like these.

"Dora," he said gently, her name a blessing upon his lips as he was reminded he _was, _in fact, her husband. It was as if what had just happened hadn't ever taken place as his chocolate eyes locked onto her currently-hazel eyes.

_"Remus," _said Tonks respectively, grabbing his wrist and pulling him up with her as she stood. For a moment, she looked as if she was about to kiss him and he licked his lips expectantly, but she turned him towards the sink. "Wash your filthy hands and get back to bed. In the meantime, I've _really _got to go, so get out of here…You didn't make a mess in here, did you? Oh, _Remus, _what in Merlin's name am I going to do with you…"

"What - I didn't make a mess!" Remus argued, feeling his cheeks heat up again. "It's just - not even a little bit - "

"Go to bed!" Tonks laughed, and he couldn't help letting another mischievous grin play across his lips as he quickly rinsed off his hands, then going back to their bed to leave his wife alone. And Merlin, was he glad he wasn't in trouble…

**Yes or no? Sorry if you didn't want to read anything dirty - remember, I wrote this in spite of myself, and anyone who was CRAVING to hear about this kind of thing…Hee. **


	14. Nymphadora

**Apologies for not updating as frequently as I promised, but school started on Monday and I've been loaded down with homework. This one's written "campfire style", as I like to call it, and if you make the connection correctly, then...well...good for you. Haha. As for my Teddy fic, I'm still working on chapter 2 - you'll have to bear with me on Resurrection Stone because I'm aiming for it to be big and well-written. I promise this chapter will be worth the wait. **

**Here's the Nymphadora filler. It's very short, mainly because I'm not big on writing from Tonks's point of view, but here it is! **

She hugs her knees as she anxiously waits for him, letting every single worry that pops into her head cause her to bite her nails just a little harder. She keeps turning her head to the doorway, hoping he'll pop in anytime. It's later than when he usually returns from his monthly excursions.

Where could he be?

The very question has been rolling through her head and banging against her brain since five o'clock that morning. It is the late hours of the morning now. The downstairs of her mother's house is cold like the late-March weather outside, but she doesn't notice. Her hair has turned a neon orange color as she sits there, worrying about him, wondering if he was caught.

But just as she is about to give up hope and go out to look for him despite her swollen belly, he comes through the door and rushes into her arms, and she knows he is looking for security and warmth. His clothes are ripped as usual, and a scarf keeps him warm around his neck. The way he says her name as he hugs her delights her and she breathes a sigh of relief.

After their short reunion, they sit down on the couch, him cuddling up to her and reminding her of a teddy bear. She asks why he came in so late, and he tells her about having to stray so far away from the house because of several Dark werewolf-Death Eaters were on his path, and it turned into a great chase. His transformation at dawn does not help, but he eventually returns to the house safely and secretly and manages to utter the hourly-changing password before bursting in. She hugs him and kisses his forehead at his story and embraces the fact that he is safe.

Then they talk about baby names. The baby's due date is coming up and she can't wait, and she knows he can't either, for two things, hoping that the first is his son or daughter's birth. They discuss what its name would be if it were a girl, and then if it were a boy, and they decide on the same male name in an instant.

_"Teddy Lupin."_

**Next chapter - the birth of Teddy Lupin, complete with Tonks's painful screams, Remus's fleeting worries, tears in the St. Mungo's hospital room, and then Tonks's begging Remus for Chocolate Frogs after the birth of their baby. And after that...the oh-so-anticipated sex chapter. Be aware. And REVIEW!**


	15. Teddy

As the cold days of March evolved slowly into the warmer days of April, Remus felt as if his wife's stomach was growing even larger with every passing hour of the changing weather. He felt as if the baby were never going to come, because its due date had been scheduled for sometime in March. It was now April, and both Remus and Tonks were showing impatience for the baby's birth.

All Tonks did was lie around and listen to the radio all day while indulging herself in several different kinds of food - she was especially fond of Chocolate Frogs, Remus discovered. She complained about the size of her stomach and sometimes whined that she was ugly-looking, and Remus always tried to assure her that she would still be as beautiful to him as the day they met, but she'd swat him away.

The worst part of Tonks's unusually long pregnancy was the fact that Remus was starting to swing with her moods. When she was unhappy, he was unhappy. He was even hungry some of the time she was, and in between serving her snacks and catering to her every whim, he'd scarf down an extra helping of her mother's potato salad. And lately, Tonks had been complaining for more room when they slept, which forced him to sleep on the couch most nights. Her stomach was too big for the two of them.

One particular night, he was lying on his back on the living room couch, staring up at the ceiling with his hands behind his head as he lay in complete darkness. The radio was sitting on the end table somewhere above his head, its volume down low enough so he could just barely hear it. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't have forced his eyes shut even if an enemy had been there to inflict some sort of pain on his tired, worked-to-the-bone body. This was the umpteenth sleepless night he'd been through - he'd lost track at four - and he was growing sick of it.

As a Weird Sisters song came on the radio, he groaned and twisted his way up into a sitting position only to slam his hand on the player, turning it off. Tonks's favorite band reminded him, of course, of Tonks, which brought back the memory of her screaming at him earlier that day because she was frustrated about not being able to reach the top shelf to get the chocolate-chip cookies. He was tired of her yells and complaints and wished she'd learn to deal with it, but then again, he wouldn't have known the things she was going through as a pregnant woman. Remus sighed, running a hand through his thick hair as he now stared at the flowery wallpaper in the living room.

Would the baby _ever _come? What if it never arrived and it was trapped inside of her? He shook his head violently upon the realization he was thinking childish thoughts. _It'll come soon, _he tried to reassure himself, but in frustration, he threw himself off of the couch cushions to pace the dark room, praying for a miracle to happen soon.

The one good thing that came out of this was the fact that he and Andromeda, Tonks's mother, were bonding incredulously through their shared dreaded opinions. Both of them worked like slaves to get Tonks what she wanted to satisfy her wants and needs, and to get her to be quiet. Both of them were tired of hearing her yell from somewhere in the house for another Chocolate Frog. Most of all, both of them were more anxious than anything for the baby's birth. They shared the same exasperated sighs and groans when they avoided her hulking stomach when it made its way into the kitchen or other room, because they knew what was coming: A heated complaint session on why the two of them weren't caring for her like she thought they should be.

_Creak._

Startled, Remus's thoughts were ripped in two as he heard a noise from somewhere beyond the living room. It sounded like someone was slowly coming down the old, wooden staircase, gradually making their way to the downstairs level.

_Creak…creak…creak…_

There mere sound sent chills down his spine. As quietly as possible, he lightly walked to the end table where the radio was and snatched up his wand, preparing himself for anything that might be sneaking into the room. He raised it as the footsteps reached the final steps, and a dark figure made its way into the living room. He blinked several times and coughed as he saw Tonks standing there in her nightgown, and he turned on the dim light.

Her face showed a mixture of emotions, a particular mix that made him feel sick, for he felt as if he knew what was coming. She looked worried, excited, pain-stricken, and tired all at the same time as she looked up at him. He knew his face showed nervousness: What could she have wanted? Never before had she risen at this time at night.

"W-what is it, Dora?" he finally asked, the words coming out in short, worried breaths that he wished he could take back as he realized how pathetic the question sounded.

She took his hand in her slender one and looked up into his eyes. "Remus…" she began, and he could tell it was taking her a lot to say this, "It's time."

The breath in Remus's lungs disappeared instantly, and he found himself leaning over the couch, looking for breath support. He felt his entire body shake as he tried to gasp for air, and he felt her trying to pull him up.

"Come on, we've got to get to the hospital…" she was saying, and right as she did, he looked up to see Andromeda rushing down her stairs. By the way she appeared, he could tell she had hurried to get dressed.

"Andromeda!" he yelped, unable to say anything else; he was in too much shock.

Andromeda looked at him and sighed as she snatched something off the table that he couldn't see. "Remus, get dressed!" she said disapprovingly. "You can't go to the hospital wearing pajama pants and an undershirt, honestly…"

Remus cringed; he was slightly uncomfortable with the fact that his mother-in-law was staring at his thin figure in the way she had been. He ran up the stairs, skipping steps, and ducked into he and Tonks's bedroom to quickly change into robes and run a couple hands through his hair, and after shoving the shoes onto his feet, he ran back down the stairs, his breath coming out in short, panicky gasps.

"Okay, I'm ready," he said shortly as Tonks let out an ear-piercing scream that made his skin crawl. He felt afraid all of a sudden, but he had no time to worry about his emotions. In an instant, Andromeda seized his wrist and dragged him to the fireplace, where they all shouted "St. Mungo's!" as Floo Powder was flung into the hearth. Tonks squeezed Remus's hand tightly as the stepped into the emerald-green flames and began spinning rapidly until they found themselves in the quiet emergency room at St. Mungo's.

Looking around, there were very few people there, since it was something like three o'clock in the morning, but before he knew it Tonks was sitting in a wheelchair, on her way to the hospital room where she would have the baby, and Remus was following absentmindedly, letting his feet do the thinking instead of his brain, which was too busy panicking about the situation.

The doctor wheeling Tonks around burst into a hospital room suddenly and he followed abstractly, suddenly feeling as though he might collapse. He felt sick to his stomach. He glanced around the room to find a nurse, who helped Tonks onto the bed, and a strange rush of colors from the floor tiles to the posters on the walls mixed in his eyes and he leaned over, grasping the door handle. He felt dizzy. This couldn't be happening.

"Sir…sir!"

Remus looked up to see the nurse rushing over to him with a concerned look on her face. The room was spinning, and her voice echoed in his head.

"Sir, are you all right?"

The sounds of Tonks's painful cries and the doctor's encouraging comments faded away slowly as he swayed on the spot. "The baby…the baby…" he was subconsciously repeating, and the last thing he saw before total blackness was the nurse's worried facial expression…

* * *

"Remus? Remus, wake up, it's a boy!" 

Bright lights forced their way on his eyes as he opened them, blinking several times before realizing what was going on. He was lying on the hospital bed next to Tonks, and as he looked over at her exhausted, happy face, he looked into her arms, where a black-haired baby boy was, no bigger than seven or eight pounds. He stared, his mouth curving into an elated smile as his worries were put to rest. Everything in the world seemed to shut down except for the hospital room, and as he cradled the tiny baby in his arms, he felt his eyes well up with tears.

The fact that he was holding something he'd helped to create, something he'd helped to bring into this world overwhelmed him. He looked down at the infant boy's tiny face and smiled a great, satisfactory smile. He was born. At long last, the son he thought he never would have had, the son he was once going to abandon, was finally here, breathing in the air of the world for the first time.

"What should we name him?" asked Tonks from next to him, and he looked at her and kissed her lips gently, feeling the need to.

"I don't know," he said quietly, changing his glance from his wife to his son, still barely able to believe that this was his child. There was a pause, and then he thought of it. He looked at Tonks again and whispered, "Ted."

The very name brought tears to her eyes as she stared at him with her mouth hanging open, but she smiled a little and sniffled. "Yes," she whispered back. "Ted. Teddy Remus Lupin." She kissed him back and he smiled, looking back down at the baby in his arms.

"Little Teddy," he said softly.

"Remus," came Tonks's voice again, and he looked at her. She now had a look of pure seriousness on her face, one that startled him slightly. She continued, "We should name someone his godfather. You know…just in case anything happens."

"Who?" asked Remus, not liking the thought of anything happening to either of them.

They locked eyes passionately for a moment, during which time he could tell they were thinking the same thing. In unison, they said, "Harry."

There was nobody better, Remus thought as he looked from the crescent moon back to Teddy Remus Lupin.

* * *

**(I think some of it got cut off - apologies if anything happened.) So there you have it - review it and let me know. The next chapter will have PLENTY of sex - you know, that stuff Remus has been craving for so long. Take that as a warning. It should appear within the next couple of days or so (if not by Monday night, then sometime this weekend). Don't forget that I'm currently in school and writing these fics is hard to do when I've got so much schoolwork to concentrate on. Thanks for sticking with me, kids...and don't forget...REVIEW IT!**


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